I suck at blogging

...but I ROCK at lists!

• I love Scrubs (the TV show, not the clothing option - they make me feel kinda fat and bloated). I'm sure, if you know me remotely well, you know this already. But I just want to reinterate - it's the best show ever.
• I love Christmas, even if Alabama doesn't make it feel like it. Yeah, I'm not into the whole 75 degrees things in December. And my sinuses don't like it either.
• Commericials suck.
• Work is going well - we got our Christmas bonuses (today, might I add...less than a week before Christmas...gah) (not that I want to sound spoiled), and I'm working in our card room until the end of the year. We produce cards for all of the reps in Auction ACCESS (those who buy and sell cars at car auctions...longer explanation available if you want it), and I'm the one doing it right now. It's so much better than my regular job activities, so I'm actually kinda happy at work for the time being.
• Paul is awesome - he has painted our back bedroom and put up new blinds in there. He's in the midst of painting our second bedroom right now - and he had the dishes done before I got home. He's such a hard worker - I'm super thankful for him.
• This "Clash of the Choirs" show is actually pretty cool. Except for when the soloists forget the words to extremely popular Christmas songs. HA!
• Our friends Alisa and Phil are coming to stay at our house tomorrow night! YAY!
• I get to be off of work Monday and Tuesday - PRAISE THE LORD.
• Super pumped about the Candlelight & Cookie service at church on Sunday night.
• I went home last weekend for my brother's college graduation. Quick overnights to Chicago are not so great, but it was totally worth it. It's not every day your brother graduates from college.
• Do we still have Christmas shopping to do? Yes. Is Christmas (well, when we're celebrating it on Christmas eve) less than 5 days away? Yes.

Have a fabulous Christmas, everyone! Love to all!

Hmm

Well, I have wanted to post for a while now, but I wasn't sure how to put what's going on into words. Get ready for some "real!" God has been doing some amazing things in my heart lately, and although the journey isn't over, at least I know I'm open to what He's doing. Finally. It's hard to come to certain realizations. It's hard to realize that I haven't been open to God's guidance. It's hard to realize that not only have I not been listening, I haven't wanted to. It's excrutiating to know that I've allowed my stubborn and frozen heart to affect my marriage and ministry. Paul is absolutely the best thing to ever happen to me, and I was holding undeserved resentment and anger toward him. I have relied on common sense and logic so much that I've walked away from the path that God wants for me. I've only allowed God to affect me to a certain point...only to where I was able to manage it. Have I been in leadership with all of this in my heart? Yes. And at this point, in the past, I would be spiraling downward...not able to move past the negative aspects to even see the positive side.

But I'm not spiraling. I'm moving forward. It was rough last weekend, and I know the rough points will continue, but all in all, I know that God loves me, wants the best for me, and has surrounded me with the most amazing people. For the first time in a long time, I'm starting to feel these facts move from my brain to my heart. I can preach vulnerability and "real" until I'm blue in the face, but until I start truly doing it myself, nothing I say will be effective. I'm so appreciative of have the opportunity to be so open with a few of the people around me. I can't even begin to put into words the lessons I'm finally allowing God to teach me. I can name off all of the issues I have, but what would that help? I know in my heart that I need to be content...that is my main struggle. I think this will be a learning experience for me for a long time to come, but I believe prayer works. I know that everything else will fall into place if I let God be God in my heart and to accept His teaching me to be content. Do I suck? Sure...I'm human. Will this be a continual process? YES. But I feel encouraged and hopeful. For the first time in a long time. Thank you to the select few who were not only there for me, or asked how I was doing, but for the prayers, the support, the in-your-face advice, the listening ears. Love to you.

And I'm trying to get rid of the to-do lists... :)

Positivity

I find that I'm somewhat (read REALLY) negative a lot of times, and although I recognize it in others, sometimes I try to pawn my negativity off as something else - truth, being honest, blah. So here's to positivity - a list just for you:

• Getting ready for this trip to Chicago is no where near as stressful as I thought it would be. I'm even having my in-laws over for dinner tomorrow night and we leave on Wednesday morning. If you know me, you know I stress about everything, and I'm trying really hard to work on chilling out, so this is huge for me.
• I am madly in love with my husband. Paul is one of the absolute best things to have ever happened to me, and I really couldn't have asked for more.
• I made potato soup that is actually pretty healthy AND is tastes good. It was my first real experience using chicken/vegetable broth, and I think it turned out very well. Paul will be the real test.
• I get to see Wicked in TWO DAYS. YAAAAAAAAAY!!!
• August Rush comes out in two days. Super pumped about it...
• I heart Scrubs.
• I still use Amazon.com, even if terrorists tried to get me using their logos and website info.
• We got new clothes yesterday! And although I could REALLY be negative about this experience (because hating my body is...easy for me), it was actually really good and Paul got an ADORABLE outfit (even though he HATES it when I call his shirt and pant combinations outfits).
• Frank Caliendo is my new favorite comic.
• I heart the holidays - even if it's still the same temp as it was in September. I love the spirit, especially because I don't go into crazy shopping mode like most people. I love the fact that my family does grabbags (each person buys one present for one person) - it makes EVERYTHING easier.
• I love comfy pants.

Ok, that's good for now. If I don't post again, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! :)

Free rice to the world

Ok, so I went to Rachel's blog, who posted about Andrea's blog, and I am addicted. If you want to help with world hunger, start giving free rice. I promise, you'll have fun, and you'll be helping world hunger! What more could you ask for?!

To do lists...

...seem to be the bane of my existence. I am bombarded by the numerous lists that just seem to form in my brain...just to drive me crazy. I have a couple started thus far - here's a peek into my insanity. These are not in order of importance:

To Do #1 - Things to do/get when our flex plan is updated:
-New glasses
-Eye exams
-Dental cleanings
-Birth control (for how long??? hehehe...)

To Do #2 - Top 5 things to pray about:
-When to put our house up for sale
-Top things to do to our house to add value
-When to have kids/get off BC
-When to buy a new car (trading mine in)
-Keeping to our budget

To Do #3 - Options to change on our house:
-Fix the fence
-Paint the bedrooms
-Replace carpet
-Replace ceiling fans
-Landscaping

To Do #4 - Buy Xmas presents (thank GOD for grabbags):
-Brother
-Dad
-Aunt Mary
-Cousin Jimmy
-Paul's family
-Paul? Are we going to buy presents for each other?

To Do #5 - Things to do/get before leaving for Chicago:
-Small group
-Connection guides
-Hair cut (no, Shana, I'm not out of control)
-Lauryn's b-day party (niece)
-Work Day @ church
-Possibly going to the Alabama game
-Missions Sunday
-Laundry/Pack

Had enough? I'm PSYCHO.

Sick all the time

I am so sick of being sick all the freaking time. This is one of the main reasons I hate Alabama. I NEVER had allergy problems in Illinois. Boo. It's as if I'm drowning because of the drainage, and I can't sleep at night because I can't breathe. Ugh. Ugh again.

But I cooked today...I made a White Chicken Spinach lasagna that we'll be able to eat for the next little while. I'm ready for it. I can smell it right now sitting here...thank you Jesus for food. I asked Paul the other day whether or not my passion for food is a bad thing. He said that as long as my passions don't take me away from the things that should be my main focus, then it's ok. I just love food...I love tasting it, cooking it, playing with recipes, etc. I think some of my weight issues have to do with this love, but I'm still trying to work on that. Ugh with that...weight issues are horrible and stressing. We watched stupid America's Biggest Loser last night, and it just made me feel like crap about myself. One of the girls on there weighs less than I do...does that mean I should get onto a show like that? GEEEZ...

I want to have more good days than bad days, and it's just not happening...I think it might have something to do with the weather. (insert sad smiley face here)

More pics

Yesterday was (as you all know) Halloween, and I dressed up like a hippie. I couldn't find the best picture, so that will have to do. I did, however, have bell bottoms on and a fake joint...all in good fun. And today is "Roaring 20's" day, where we had to dress up like flapper girls or mobsters. I opted to apparently look like a guy almost all week...it's just easier. :) This pic is of my team - from left to right - me, Brett, Robin (in the flapper dress), Jacob (behind her), and Noah, who went from the "gangster in his 20's" look. Good times...

CSR Week...thus far

So this week, we're celebrating CSR week at work. It's a lot like Spirit week in high school, if you've experienced that. Well, yesterday was Hillbilly day, and today we had to dress up as a group of characters from a TV show or movie with our teammates. We chose Wizard of Oz. Enjoy!

Joel Osteen sucks

Ok, so the title doesn't have anything really to do with the post, but Paul is watching the now infamous clip from Mark Driscoll's church, and it got me thinking about it. Blah. And he has a mullet. Geez...I'm glad my community of believers agree that our Christianity isn't easy and won't be. Ever. Thank God for that.

Anyway, life is still pretty busy. Work is slowly (read: like molasses) getting better. There are plans in the works right now to completely update our work area, and I have the possibility of receiving two more raises before the end of the year. I have to remember that this is where God wants me right now, even when I think it sucks, and I need to be thankful that I have a job that pays our bills. It's not all about me, dang it. Help me, Lord...

God has really been dealing with my heart lately. On one hand, it sucks really bad because it hurts - it's like surgery. On the other hand, though, I'm finally feeling like a Christian again - I feel like loving Jesus again. I struggle A LOT with being dependant on my feelings - I have to have something tangible in order to know it or believe it. And God showed me that because this is my mentality so often, I single-handedly deem my faith null and void. Faith isn't something tangible...that's hard, but it's truth. As much as I want to totally depend on Paul as my provider, my help, my confidant...that's not faith. As much as I think I want to control my life, my job, my family, my decisions, my hopes, my dreams...that's NOT faith. I am like the sick man who didn't ask, but told Jesus to help his unbelief. But like we talked about at small group last night, I'm also like the woman with the issue of blood - I've been called out, set free, and am in the process of being healed. It will not be finished while we're here on earth...

My mind keeps screaming, "Why is giving up control so damn hard?!" But I found a pinch of comfort in one set of verses we read last night within our lesson for small group - 1 Peter 5. It talks about humbling ourselves under God's mighty hand, and in due time, He will lift us up. We can cast our cares on him because he cares for us. I've heard this verse a billion times, but I never thought about why one verse was purposely written after the other. It may just be God revealing it to me, but I find it pretty amazing that directly after God tells us to humble ourselves, he tells us to cast all of it on Him. I believe God knows that being humble is ridiculously hard for us humans, so he wanted to make sure we knew it was totally okay to cast it all on Him - actually, that's the only way we can be humble - dependance on Him.

Anyway, that's the stuff in my head right now. Peace and love, homies...

A sick day includes...

...but is not limited to:

• Taking Benedryl around 6:45 this morning, and not waking up until Paul came home for lunch (around 11:10ish)...then feeling as if I could go back to sleep at any time. I haven't slept that much in I don't know how long. This is after going to bed last night around 9:30...hmm...14 hours? Wow.
• My throat feeling as if an animal of some sort has scratched it's way through it, but didn't actually kill me.
• Being on the computer A LOT.
• Watching randomly okay movies like "How to Deal" starring a cute and tart Mandy Moore and "Overnight Delivery" starring a very young Reese Witherspoon as a stripper. They have come a long way for License to Wed and Sweet Home Alabama, I'd say.
• Seeing enough of the celebrity drama on the E channel to last me a lifetime.
• Not spending money on food!
• Ugly, UGLY migraines.
• Ordering the next season of Scrubs DVD's from Amazon...season 5, here we come! (Which means seasons 3 and 4 will be borrowed by Luke and Shana soon...hehehe...)
• Having a house that's hotter inside than it is outside because we don't have windows that open. At all.
• Having time to do things around the house, but not caring enough to actually do them.
• Remembering that I have to go back to work tomorrow. I hate my life.

My husband...

...has finally broken down and created a blog of his very own. You need to leave him comments to encourage him to write stuff down and quit being lazy.

Thanks!

The list precedes the point...

• Preaching last Sunday was hard for me, but challenging in a good way. I think I got my point across, and as so many people reminded me, it's not up to me for that to happen anyway. Thanks for all the encouragement...I'm sure Luke will make me do it again.
• Life has been hectic but good lately. Work is still work, though.
• Praying for big things makes me forget about the small things and to be thankful for them. Dang it.
• I love being there for my husband, especially when he acknowledges it.
• Speaking of my husband, he's preaching this upcoming Sunday. If you can't be there, please pray for him. It's gonna be good.
• We're going to The Club tomorrow night for the Version 3 Celebration Dinner. Will V3 be celebrated? Hmm...probably not. Will free (really good) food and free alcohol be celebrated? Oh so much more.
• I think my laptop is kinda sick...it needs to take a trip to the doctor (aka Best Buy).

I am ridiculously in love with our church and more importantly, the people in it. To those who read this and are included in this group - you had me at hello. You are the passion of my heart and it (my heart) aches when it's not with you. Don't think I'm a weirdo, I'm just in love. I can't help it. I would write you a note asking if you like me too, and to circle yes or no, but this is a blog, and that wouldn't really be feasible. But just know...I'm seriously serious.

This is something I've been thinking about, and with the upcoming holiday, it's appropriate: Walking with God is like Halloween candy. Sometimes, you get the apples - the things in life that suck in comparison to the other stuff out there. Sometimes, you get caramels - the things that are good, but stick to you for far too long, so they eventually become bad. And sometimes, more rarely, you get your favorite (insert favorite candy here - I'm choosing Kit Kat for now) - you love it, you want more of it, you just may burst at the goodness of it.

That's like the parts of Jesus that are revealed to us - they're so good, we just might burst. But those parts are only good because of the other crap we have to wade through. Someone asked me the other day the infamous question of why bad things happen to good people. My answer was basically that faith is hard, and we live in a place that fell away from what God originally wanted. We chose our own way, we thought we could do it better, we allowed the enemy a place in our lives. Anyone who says that the way of faith is problem-free and smooth sailing is full of it. They haven't experienced true depth in God - a depth to which we can only go if it be through struggles. Does this suck? Yes. Is it necessary for growth? Most assuredly. Has God given us the strength to move in, through and past struggles? More than we can know. This is why community is such a strong passion/calling of ours (mine and Paul's). It's one of the few tangible things God has given us to help us work and walk through life. We need to utilize it...be real with it, be open to it, be honest in it, be forgiving of it, be thankful for it, be gracious about it, be what God has called us - THE CHURCH.

Ok, the tangent is over...just remember...LOVE.

Anniversary Dinner

I haven't posted pictures in a while, so I figured why not now? We had our big anniversay dinner on Friday night at the Melting Pot. It was fun, definitely an experience, but I wasn't too thrilled with being there for three hours. Our waitress was a tad busy, apparently. I would recommend it for a one-time experience, though. The anniversay is actually tomorrow (Monday) but this was fun. Yay for two years!

People who annoy me/General Update

1. Prissy drivers who, FOR THE LOVE, cannot get over in an appropriate amount of time, so end up slamming on their breaks a foot in front of me because apparently, their depth perception is lacking, and they just HAD to get over at that very second. (This is especially prevelant on 20/59 northbound at the place where the far left hand lane ends before the junction. It's an idiot magnet.)

2. The customer who calls just to bitch about how bad their job is, and how our system makes it 5,000,000,000 times worse for them.
(Because, apparently, I have control over that.)
(And I am now their personal therapist without the pay.)
(Awesome.)

3. The person at work who talks about their vacation day(s) for at least 10 minutes to someone before realizing that other people can hear them, so they stop abruptly and sound like an idiot because the rest of the room wasn't having this conversation. But thanks for filling us all in. We appreciate it.

4. The person who pulls into the same center lane as me, turning the same way, and is so much more important than me that she gives me a look like "What?!" when she turns out of order onto 31. (See center median on 31 near church across the street from the Food World.)

5. The person in the bathroom who is obviously blowing it up, and does not understand the concept of a "courtesy flush." C'mon people...it's not hard...

Ok, that's all I've had to deal with thus far today...I might add to this later. But let's hope not. I'm trying to be more loving, but dude, it's hard.

General Update:

• Paul has been sick the past couple days, and is still kinda out of it. He still went to work, though. I'm way more of a pansy than he is.
• You should listen to this new artist I found - her name is Colbie Caillat. Her career was started completely on MySpace. Her album, "Coco" is now in stores. I plan to buy it very soon.
• We're going along with the Benz's theme for our living room - we call it "Big Ass TV". Now, ours is most definitely not as big or as nice as theirs, and it's a hand-me-down, but we're still pretty pumped about it (and you would understand if you had/have seen our old TV). If you're going to be around the H-town area on Saturday, we're going to be watching the Alabama game on it. ROLL TIDE!
• I'm praising the Lord that tomorrow is Friday. Paul and I are both taking a half day off because we're celebrating our two year wedding anniversary. :) (The actual day is Monday the 24th, but it's easier to go out on the weekend.) We'll be dining at this fine establishment - I'm so pumped! I heart fondue. And I think we're going to a movie...any suggestions?
• I get to see the Floyd family on Saturday. So looking forward to it - YAY!!!!
• We are more and more thankful for our church everyday. Small group was awesome last night (even if Paul missed out), and Sundays are even better. I know I haven't been around that long, but the community we're experiencing now is amazing to us. It makes me want to be better. Seriously.

I guess that's it for now. I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball.

Sex/God and Family

That's basically what my weekend consisted of. Oh, and cooking for 6 people twice. My parents were down for the weekend, my cousins stayed with us Friday night to Saturday (meal #1), and my in-laws came over for dinner Saturday night (meal #2). Then we (my parents and me and Paul) went to church this morning, which was amazing. I just have to say that I freaking LOVE my church. I can't help it. It had me at hello.

After a fun-filled weekend, my husband and I are having a laptop war (ok, not really), copying things from the old laptop to the new. We rented a couple movies (neither of which have been watched yet), and I'm attempting to clean up some from the weekend and do laundry. A nice, relaxing Sunday evening. Plus, the weather has been awesome this weekend, so that makes everything better.

I'm learning that I need to be more organized and disciplined in life if I'm going to get everything done. My parents asked how they could pray for us in the car on the way to the airport today, and, needless to say, we gave them a ridiculously long list, so they'll be busy for a while. After we dropped them off, Paul and I were both quiet in the car, just thinking. And this is when the realization hit me - although I do a lot now, I'm going to have to shift my priorities around to make time for things that should be more important in my life (i.e. the gym (well, physical fitness), connections w/ people, stuff for church, etc.) There's just so much to think about, and so much I want to do with life, and the ever-present question of children continually emerges, and I need to learn to be a better wife, and do I really want to be person I am forever?!?

GAH...I hate thinking sometimes.

And I need to blog more.

A new laptop, TV interviews and Identity Theft

That's the main gist of my week thus far. We bought a new laptop last weekend (the one thing that has really made me happy, even though stress comes with it). Luke was on CBS 42 on Wednesday night (click here to see the clip), and we'll be on TV again because this Sunday, ABC 33/40 will be coming to our service to tape and interview. WOO-HOO! I know God is going to do something amazing with this opportunity, even if I don't see it yet.

Lastly, I had my identity partially stolen today. I, like the dumbass I can be sometimes, was scammed by an email that claimed it was from Amazon.com's security office to verify my account info. Now, trust me, usually I don't touch emails like this because it's for some bogus company or some weird email address sent it to me. This time, however, I was reeled in because I do have an Amazon accout, and I do store personal info there, including my debit card info. Needless to say, I verified the info (and thus, opened my life) to an identity thief, and have spent the entire morning trying to get everything sorted out. This type of theft is an ugly thing, and I feel stupid and vulnerable. As far as I know, we've done everything we can to take care of it, and the people I've worked with have been awesome about all of it. I'm thankful that there are still smart, competent and kind people out there helping idiots like me.

I'm just about at my breaking point right now. Stress is all-consuming, and although I know I should use the stupid cliche of "too blessed to be stressed", I'm not in the mood. God, I need a break. Something....anything.... Also, be careful what you say out loud to God, because He'll call you on it and then some. I was just talking to my supervisor yesterday about all of the stress I'm dealing with, and how HORRIBLE this week has been, and how I don't think I can take anymore. Then today happens. Apparently, I can take more than I thought. My brain might be mush, my face might be tear-stained, and my heart might be in a million crushed pieces, but because of His strength, I can take it.

And now, my focus moves to my parents coming to town next weekend, and preaching about submission in three weeks. Anyone want to say a prayer for me? GAH.

The first weekend of September

September has always been my favorite month. Mostly because it's the start of fall, but now because it's our anniversary month and, typically, it's slower than the summer months. But being in Alabama, not only is it still dreadfully hot, it's also the start of the craze, the hype, the insanity that is college football. Being an Alabama fan (ROLL TIDE), this month marked an even more momentous occasion - the beginning of Nick Saban's reign as head coach for the Tide.

Yeah...blah blah blah.

I am most definitely a fan of college football, and do claim the Tide as "my team", but can I just tell you...I'm not anywhere NEAR the insanity we endured last Saturday in Tuscaloosa for the opening game against Western Carolina. I don't think I've ever seen that much red in one place. Although I do enjoy tailgating (especially when the really drunk people next to us give me free, surprisingly well-made margaritas), I am not one for all the craziness.

Imagine the scene: I'm sitting under an plastic UA tent thing with Paul's aunt and uncle, I'm literally surrounded by American, UA and Rebel flags (on trucks, on tents, flying from their post in the ground, etc.), the familiar yet distinct smells of cigarette smoke (Paul's aunt), grilled food, alcohol, and hot sweat all combined to make an interesting (read: not so great) concoction, and some of the weirdest people I've ever seen. I even have to put up with my husband demanding to drive his truck (even though it's horrible with gas) and listening to classic rock on the radio the entire drive down and back. (Even with my fervent chanting - "I did not marry a redneck...I did not marry a redneck...I did not marry a redneck...") Plus, we got kicked out of our original seats (don't worry, we ended up in better ones...long story...ask if you want to know). But all in all, it was a great day - and we kicked WC's ass.

The weekend had started Friday night with dinner at the Weather's house with Luke and Shana. Jen and Alan and their kiddies have been a part of our church for a while now, but found out recently that they're moving back to Michigan (where they are both from) for Alan's job. As much as we're excited for them (they'll be really close to family), we're saddened too. It's going to be a rough one this Sunday, saying good-byes.

The weekend ended with church and our Worship team retreat overnight at Shocco Springs in Talladega. A good time, but tiring. Learning new songs, poker games, decent food, and fellowship all make for a good time. Although I was tired, and had a bad attitude about it at first (I get crabby), I'm glad Paul and I went. He got some good convo time with Luke, and we learned some great songs that, I think, the church will grow to love. Props to Jason for putting it together.

And now it's Wednesday, I'm still tired, I'm craving Diet Coke like a crack fiend (we gave it up for this month for Paul's niece - ask if you want more details), and this month continues to stay busy. Things to look forward to:

• Hair cut tomorrow (it's beastly at this point)
• Date Night on Friday
• Work Day at church on Saturday, and lunch with the coolest of the Benzes (jk...well, you're cool, but I'm not going to say you're the coolest...you know...)
• Start of the Sex God sermon series on Sunday AM
• My parents coming down next weekend (YAY!)
• A possible quick trip to Destin, FL with Paul's brothers
• Our anniversary (the 24th)
• I preach on the 30th (prayers are appreciated)

Well, that's it for now. Peace out, peeps.

From the airports...

(originally written Thursday morning)

So I’m thoroughly convinced that airports (and the people who are found in them) create numerous opportunities for fun and ridicule. People-watching should be considered a job in an airport…hence my joy at the prospect of flying. Today was different for me, though. I was alienated from my Southwest Airlines for the first time since…2003, maybe? The last time I flew something other than Southwest, it was an international flight to Macedonia (western Europe, people) for a mission trip when I was in MC. I know, some of you are thinking…why in the world would you waste time with Southwest, anyway? Well, if I can get to Chicago for $89 one way, I’ll take it in a heartbeat over high-priced assigned seats on bigger planes. But my pension for SW is not the issue today. This trip was purchased and planned for me by two of the greatest people ever, so I’m at the mercy of Delta Airlines.

The assigned seating and “zone” boarding were easy enough to understand, even if the Skycabbie in B’ham was not friendly. (Well, who could really blame him? I didn’t want to be there at 6:00 am either.) Flying to Atlanta from B’ham seems like a pointless trip, considering the flight takes a total of 30 mins in the air and an hour gate to gate, but hence is my current position. The flight was mostly uneventful, but you know I had to record some tidbits of fun for my readers!

I was sitting in an aisle seat about halfway back, and I’m stuck between Gum-Smacking Man to my left, and Happy McSnores-A-Lot on my right with his Ipod blaring. (Too bad Happy looks like he could be the younger brother of the CEO from my company, and made me shudder in true, I-hate-my-job fashion, so the snoring added to my annoyance.) I did empathize with Gum Man, though…it was obvious that he and his wife had never flown before, so their excited nervousness was precious to me. It reminded me of the trip I took with my now mother-in-law before Paul and I got married. She, in her 50-something years, had never flown before, and we were flying to Chicago for one of my bridal showers. I felt like I was herding a five year old as she stared out the window and giggled almost the whole time. (We were on…er, interesting (read: bad) terms at the time, seeing that she didn’t really want me to marry her son… Don’t worry, we’re better now.)

Towards the end of the flight, Gum Man asks me if I fly a lot, and unabashedly, I say yes. I realized later that this probably sounded snobby, but I was in the middle of a page in the book I was reading, it was before 8:00 am my time, and he simply left the conversation hanging so that he could swivel around to see the back of the plane as he had done 50 times prior. There wasn’t much opportunity to say anything else. So the plane lands, and all of a sudden, enter Dumbass on a Cell Phone. We’re taxing on the runway, for maybe 10 mins to find our gate, and he made FIVE CALLS. He was obviously some marketing something because the calls were first to his (I assume) wife, then to his PA (personal assistant) asking her if she was mad at him, and then to three clients, discussing this upcoming weekend. Trust me, I know it seems as if I was eavesdropping, but the entire section we were in could hear him. I understand that there are plenty of people who are smarter and more important than I am, but dude…it’s 8:15 (9:15 in ATL), people are still waking up, and you’re going to blare your business to five different people (or their voicemails) while we’re still on the freaking plane?!? C’MON! Let me clue you in…you’re not that important.

The airport in ATL is a lot like Midway, just a bit bigger. Needless to say, I wasn’t really nervous about being here. (I felt even better about life when Paul said, “And you’re not a dumbass…you’ll read the signs” in response to my wonderings about the airport this morning.) Like I said before, it’s fun to people-watch in places like this. You have typical business travelers (if not in a suit, then Polo shorts/khakis, Polo shirt, and the loafers that are apparently supposed to imply that they have money); families going on or coming back from vacation (cue matching pieces of apparal, maybe a kid on a leash, parents screaming “stay together!” at random); regular travelers like me (laptop, book, magazine, music player of some sort, etc). But then you have the “special ones”…the rock band with their guitars in tow who need special treatment at the check-in counter for their luggage; the thug gangsta who has to be fully decked out in chains and bling with sun glasses on INSIDE the airport; the elderly in wheelchairs or on those stupid, beeping, enlarged golf carts that the airport personnel drive around. The masses bend and sway, changing every couple mins, whether to catch a flight, grab something to eat, or lollygag as I’m trying to walk behind them. The gates are full or empty, depending on the flight time, and you can watch the TSA agents (most of the time) doing what needs to be done.

However, all of it reminds me that airport WiFi sucks (which is why I’ve typed this up in Word first), I desperately need an Ipod, and I still have two hours to sit here for my next flight. Awesome.

Things are...

...seemingly back to normal. Last week was rough, but my weekend was awesome, and coming home yesterday was great. I'm back at work now...boo...but hopefully it won't be as crazy as last week. I still haven't gotten the update on how Thursday and Friday went. :( My weekend consisted of a lot of driving, meeting new people, seeing old friends and my family, Navy Pier, flooded highways, and not sleeping much. All in all, it was awesome. AND I came home to a pretty clean house, laundry done, some new landscaping, and a lovey-dovey husband who missed me. ;) God is good, even if I hate my job, so it's all good today. I'll post more tonight when I get home - I have a funny blog about my time in the airport(s) on Thursday. Peace out yo...

This week...

...will be hell until Thursday. Please pray for me. I already feel as if my sanity is slipping through my tired fingers. And I'm ready to punch someone in the face. And cry. All at the same time. Thanks for your prayers...

Sex God, Chapter Two

This chapter was much more simple for me and my finite mind to understand. Rob breaks things down into very simplistic terms, and although I know he's been criticized for it, I believe that is why there are so many people at his church and who follow his teaching. And while I thoroughly believe in deep spirituality, I don't believe that's how everyone should start out. I'm glad for his approach...

The title for this chapter is "Sexy on the Inside," which automatically drew me in. Being someone who struggles with how I look on the outside, a chapter directed at my insides being sexy rather than my outsides was highly intriguing. He starts the chapter with the ways we're disconnected - from each other, from the earth, from ourselves, and then directly from God - and how this affects us in multiple ways. He tells a story about going to a Rolling Stones concert, and randomly talking to the [non-Christian] couple next to him about all things spiritual, with the female asking him (about humanity in general), "Why is it so hard for us to get along? Why do we have to fight with each other and go to war and hurt each other and sue each other and say horrible things about each other?" This made me think about a saying Pastor Gary used all the time - some people are better by nature than they are by grace, and this non-Christian person spoke the pain of all of humanity in a few words.

When talking about being disconnected from the earth, I have to admit, I was a tad stand-offish. I'm all for the tree-huggers and hippies of the world, but I'm not so much of that mentality. But I think he makes a few interesting, if not good, points about altering our air with electric machines, how car companies make us think that their product is the only way we can really experience nature, and a whole tangent about our trash and where it goes. And then there's a small snipit about our disconnection from ourselves - how we can so easily be distracted from the vision/passion of our own hearts, that we don't even realize what has happened until it's almost too late.

And then he brings in the biblical application - God's interaction with Adam and Even in the garden, about the initial disconnect of humanity from God, the earth, and between each other. Good stuff. He says, "And this is where you and I come in. We were born into a world, into a condition, of disconnection. Things were created to be a certain way, and they're not that way, and we feel it in every fiber of our being." This has been so pertinent in my life lately. This general feeling of...blah...

He then connects it to the sexual - he says that scholars believe that our word "sex" comes from the Latin word secare, which means "to sever, to amputate, or to disconnect from the whole." So therefore, our sexuality has two dimensions. "First, our sexuality is our awareness of how profoundly we're severed and cut off and disconnected. Second, our sexuality is all of the ways we go about trying to reconnect." Wow. That puts an entirely new spin on sex for me, and thinking about my past, it all clicks. We need to re-think our definition of sex, and then of sexual dysfunction.

He goes through an entire portion about the Red Light District in Amsterdam, about how unsexual the place is. With our new definition, there is no true sexual connection there - it's all strictly physical. He then relates this to our communities, and how truly detrimental it is to have a strictly "physical" connection with the people God has placed in our lives. We need to move to having a "sexual" connection with our church families. I know, I know...weirdness. But if you can push past the only definition in your mind, it makes sense. People blame the institution of the church for their hurts, pains, etc., but really...the institution is made up of people all striving to regain the connections they've lost.

"Somebody in this group hurt somebody in that group. Somebody at school or in that office wronged somebody else. And they haven't done the work to apologize and make amends and work through it. When I meet someone who has been burned by an institution, my first question is, 'What was the person's name?' We'll never heal unless we can identify who did what when. Only then can we begin the process of being set free."

I know I've quoted a lot, but I couldn't have put this better myself. He ends the chapter with a story about a friend of his who is celibate (he mentions celibacy a couple times throughout the chapter) and how her vow is not to go without love, but more a vow she calls "universal love" (yes, I know what you're thinking...). But her main objective is to be "sexually" connected to as many people as she can, without being shallow or superficial. I know this terminology isn't something that will catch on in the American church of today, but regardless, it should really challenge our thinking about community, and what it truly means to be connected.

And then, this paragraph:

"You can't be connected with God until you're at peace with who you are. If you're still upset that God gave you this body or this life or this family or these circumstances, you will never be able to connect with God in a healthy, thriving, sustainable sort of way. You'll be at odds with your maker. And if you can't come to terms with who you are and the life you've been given, you'll never be able to accept others and how they were made and the lives they've been given. And until you're at peace with God and those around you, you will continue to struggle with your role on the planet, your part to play in the ongoing creation of the universe. You will continue to struggle and resist and fail to connect."

And thus, be kicked in the ass, as I am.

Today is...

...Paul's Birthday!!! YAY for #26!

He's the greatest husband ever! I love you, Nathaniel Paul!!! :)

If you have his cell number, call or text him a Happy Birthday! Thanks, all!

Sex God, Chapter One

I started reading Sex God by Rob Bell (hence the obvious title), and I'm not sure how to determine my current mental state. This is the book that our next big sermon series is based on, and Luke has asked me to preach one of the Sundays, so I felt the right thing to do would be to actually read the whole thing, and not just the specific chapter I'm assigned (see? I would have made an excellent college student...)

I've made it through the introduction and the first chapter, and God has already struck me with a developing revelation about why I am the way I am a lot of times. I know, I've heard some crazy things about Rob Bell, but I have to tell you, from what I've read of his, I'm amazed. God can most definitely use anyone for his purposes, and Rob is most definitely being used. (Yes, we're on a first name basis already...what?) The introduction was simple enough, talking about how any time we start to discuss sexuality, the deeper the discussion goes, the more spiritual it gets. This is something I learned a long time ago, especially when God called me to share my past with people. Needless to say, the intro was not the revelation-inducing part.

It was the first chapter - God Wears Lipstick. Funny title, eh? Yeah, I thought so too. But then he opens the chapter with part of a diary entry from a captain in WW2 assigned to the liberate of one of the concentration camps in Germany. First of all, way to throw a total downer at me right off the bat. Anyone who knows me well enough (or has witnessed my response to certain movies throughout my life...i.e. parts of Schindler's List, Life is Beautiful, etc.) knows that anything having to do with genocide bothers me to the point of literally feeling sick. We had to watch parts of Schindler's List in seventh grade (sooo wrong...am I right?) and I ran out of the room in sobbing uncontrollably. My teacher was tempted to put me in counseling. Ha. (That's a whole other story...) Anyway, Rob continues by talking about how when we disrespect other people (treating them like an object instead of a human) we disrespect God's image - the image that they were created in. So, in turn, we end up slapping God himself in the face. Well, DANG.

"We don't respect the divine image in others just because we want to uphold their humanity. It isn't just about them. It's about us. It's about our humanity as well."

So me being selfish and treating others as if I'm better than them (whether I say anything out loud or not) is actually more if a hindrance to me than it is to them? Once again, DANG.

It's always the simplest of words that cause the greatest revelations for me. I guess it's mostly because I choose to complicate things in my head to the point where I don't actually receive anything from it...I just wear myself out thinking about it. Rob then moves forward, from seeing God's image in people to seeing us in them. He tells a story about a prostitute who came to his church to talk to him. Her intention was to tell him her plan to commit suicide, and to ask whether or not she would go to heaven if she went through with it. In the midst of her story, she mentioned having a daughter from one of her clients, and when Rob asked her about the daughter, she said, "My daughter's name is Faith."

He then says, "There are these moments when the enemy all of a sudden becomes just like me. When a soldier becomes a son. When a prostitute becomes a mother. When they become we. When those become us. When he becomes me."

What a reminder...a reminder that any of us could be in any of the situations we so easily look down upon. I could be that prostitute wanting to end my own life. If God hadn't led certain people to do/say certain things in certain times in my life, I could feasibly be ANYWHERE right now. I struggle with jealously AND pride...not a great combo. But this chapter reminds me specifically WHY that's a killer combo to struggle with...that it doesn't really affect those involved in my jealousy or my judgement. It really only affects me. And God's concern is that I protect His image in me by respecting His image in others.

The lipstick part came at the very end of the chapter (oh so dramatic, Rob...way to go...). It was the end of the same diary entry that he opened the chapter with. The captain spoke about how they were hurting for so many necessities for the people in the camp, but someone (he didn't know who) had sent them an entire shipment of lipstick. He said it was a sheer act of brilliance...one he didn't realize at first. He writes, "I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick... At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, no longer merely the number tattooed on the arm. At last they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity."

So, I guess God wears lipstick.

The Luckiest

To Paul...

The Luckiest
Ben Folds

I don't get many things right the first time
in fact,
I am told that a lot
now I know all the wrong turns —
the stumbles and falls brought me here

and where was I before the day
that I first saw your lovely face
now I see it everyday and I know that

I am,
I am
I am the luckiest

what if I'd been born fifty years before you
in a house on the street where you lived
maybe I'd be outside
as you passed on your bike,
would I know?
and in a wide sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
and I know that

I am,
I am
I am the luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

next door there's an old man
who lived into his nineties
and one day passed away in his sleep
and his wife, she stayed for a couple of days
and passed away

I'm sorry
I know that's a strange way to tell you
that I know we belong...
that I know that

I am,
I am
I am the luckiest

God intrigues me...

Today has been one hell of a day. Well, really, this week has been insane, and it's only Wednesday. I've had to deal with numerous events this week already, so I'm a tad emotionally ravaged at the moment. Perfect time to make a couple of points. Read as if you're watching one of those cheesy Mastercard commercials:

• Fighting...sucks. It doesn't matter with whom or what the fight is about...it sucks.
• Having to watch a friend be treated as if she's a criminal...sucks.
• Talking out my feelings with my supervisor about that friend...sucks.
• Not getting enough sleep because my head continues to pound, as if someone is building a house or something up there...sucks.
• Having to stare at my computer screen while the house-building continues...sucks.

Not only getting thanks for a job well done at work, but also being RIDICULOUSLY BLESSED because of it...

FREAKING PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't give details, but the details really don't matter all that much...God has, once again, and in spite of my asinine behavior, reminded me of who HE is and what HE can do! Let's just put it this way...the last 6 months have now been worth it. God is so good...and COMPLETELY FAITHFUL. I love Jesus...

Psalm 13 - The Message
A David Psalm

1-2 Long enough, God— you've ignored me long enough. I've looked at the back of your head long enough. Long enough I've carried this ton of trouble, lived with a stomach full of pain. Long enough my arrogant enemies have looked down their noses at me. (This is how I've felt for so long...)

3-4 Take a good look at me, God, my God; I want to look life in the eye, so no enemy can get the best of me or laugh when I fall on my face. (This, along with a few more choice words, is what I've told God in the past week...)

5-6 I've thrown myself headlong into your arms— I'm celebrating your rescue (!!!!!!!). I'm singing at the top of my lungs - I'm so full of answered prayers!!!!! (emphasis mine...THIS is what I feel like RIGHT NOW!!!!!!)

I stole this...

Hi, my name is: Lynn

When I'm nervous: I talk A LOT

The last song I listened to was: "Sorry" by Five O'Clock People

If I were to get married right now my Best Man/Maid of Honor would be: Hmm...that's a really hard question...probably Kristen Marie or Alisa Ann Marie

By this time next year: I hope to be working/possibly living elsewhere

I have a hard time understanding: why stupid people get in other people's business

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: Paul

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: clothes at Old Navy...yay for losing weight! :)

Most recent thing someone else bought me: Hmm...food, maybe?

My favorite redhead is: Rachel, I guess, since her hair is a little red ;)

My favorite blonde is: Hannah...she has the most blonde, I think

The last person I kissed was: Paul...duh

My middle name is: Catherine

The last person I called was: Paul

The last person that called me was: Paul

In the morning I: hit snooze, sometimes shower, get dressed, etc...the normal stuff

Last night I was: At the gym, watching TV, talking to Paul or reading, all of which occured before bed

If I was an animal I'd be: Something that lives a LONG time

Tomorrow I am: Getting my hair "fixed" (just certain parts), and re-doing our bathroom, paint and all! Super fun!

Tonight I am: Taking my hubby on a date

I'm going to miss: my family

My favorite color is: kelley green

My heart is: NOT in my job...gah...

I'm excited about: A gray bathroom, my husband, hopefully getting my new tattoo within the next couple weeks, church stuff

Bored

I know, I know...I have already been told that for people to really keep up with your blogs, you have to be in this continual state of writing...

I suck at it. And yes, I still want to be a writer.

Anyway...my life has revolved around a job I hate for so long, that I'm truly in the "I-don't-give-a-crap" stage. Seriously. And everything else in life seems to be going pretty well...

• Church is good. We're feeling more and more connected to Pelham, and to Luke and Shana. (Yes, I know you'll read this, Luke...sniff, sniff...tear, tear...) We're excited about what God is doing within the hearts of the committed there, and in the new development in Dega. God knows what He's doing, regarldess of whether or not I approve or understand.
• Small group was AWESOME last night. Crazy Martha...
• Paul has worked late every night this week (except last night so he could come to small group). I don't like it, but I do like having a bit of extra money...I guess I can deal with it for now.
• People make me laugh. Especially those who are clueless about relationships/flirting/dating, etc. C'mon people, you're adults...just be honest with yourself and admit that you like him. Send him a note if you want...I bet he'll circle "yes".
• Friends are an interestingly good topic right now. Except for one, but you don't know her. God is dealing with me about her slowly but surely...
• God, help me be humble so I don't knock prideful asses in their faces. Thanks.
• Can you tell I LOVE lists?

Ok, enough...my creativity is about gone for the moment. I have 30 more minutes at work, then it's off to the gym. I miss my husband. And I hate being blah about life right now. Oh well. Maybe the Lord will replenish my creative energy, and I'll be able to write something more meaningful and inspiring later.

Random question of the day: If you had to choose between chocolatey goodness (i.e. M & Ms) or sugary goodness (i.e. cotton candy), which would you pick?

Ok, so it's not the best picture in the world, but it shall do for now. This was taken this morning while on my way to work, so I'm not the happiest camper, but I gave you a grin anyway. ;) If I take a better one, you'll see it. Thanks for the opinions and comments, everyone!

What do you think?

So, this is what I'm thinking about for a haircut tomorrow. I'm thinking mine will be a little longer all over, though...and my bangs won't be as short. What do you think? Opinions, people!!!

Update from the last post...

• 80's party was awesome. Go see pictures on our MySpace. If you're not a friend on our MySpace, you should be...and you won't see pictures because we have our profile marked as private due to unwanted stalkers. So...I guess you won't see pictures. Oh well.
• Lunch was great. We didn't end up grilling out due to the rain, but had some great Mexican dip (props to Cathy) and a good game of Peanuts (cards).
• We saw Harry Potter...it was good...not as good as I had hoped, but it was still awesome.
• I think Mississippi might be out...it all depends on work for the time being.
• I'm still counting down days to Ohio. We're at one month and 6 days.
• God is amazing when it comes to friendships. And I'm super thankful that He's better at handling them than I am.
• Actually, I think God might have given us just a tad bit of direction...Paul not going back to school this fall. We're still praying about it. God will have to lead.
• Which means the laptop might be out for now. I don't know. Boo...

Other stuff I'm thinking about currently:

• My job just makes me laugh now...there's no point in getting upset or stressed out. Really. I'm over it.
• Losing weight is getting harder and harder. I'm not excited about that. And I just want to eat crappy stuff. Help me, Jesus...
• We're SUPER PUMPED about Dega...if you want to know what I'm talking about, click here.
• I'm learning more about God everyday. Even if it's in the midst of seeing my faults.
• I typically thrive on change. I'd move across the world at the drop of a hat. But I'm realizing that if the change has to do with relationships, connections, etc...I'm not as good with it.
• I get to see my Alisa tomorrow. :)
• Gum balls are great.
• So is Cool Whip Light.
• I think I might want to be a writer.

More later...

Stuff to look forward to...

• 80's metal-themed party (HAPPY B-DAY BRAD MOSELY!): Paul and I are totally taking this thing serious - outfits will include (but are not limited to): White pants with slits down the legs, a "Frankie Says Relax" shirt, sweatbands, crazy make-up, and tights. Who will wear what? Take a guess...
• Lunch with friends: We're having lunch with Luke & Shana and a friend of mine from MC and her new hubby tomorrow. I think we're doing burgers on the grill. I'm making pasta salad, and I think we're getting potato salad too. Any other ideas?
• Seeing the new Harry Potter movie at some point...who knows when it'll happen, but I'm excited nonetheless.
• Rekindling old friendships (or ones that have waned, and are now coming back).
• Maybe going to Mississippi to see my cousin and her hubby. They just moved down here from MI because he's in seminary there, so I think that might have within the first couple weeks in August.
• Because I have THE COOLEST friends in the world, I'll be spending the last weekend in August in Ohio to have some girl time. You should know my friends. They ROCK.
• Paul starting school (ok, not really looking forward to it, but with the possibility of a school loan, he might be able to get stuff done sooner than originally hoped.)
• Along with the aforementioned possible school loan will come a NEW LAPTOP. Possibly a Mac...we'll see...

I'll write more later...

Vacation in a Nut Shell

Adventure #1: Leaving my purse in one of the 1,000,000 Pensacola Subway restaurants for over 40 minutes.

Panic. Tears. Praise the ever-living Lord, it's still there when we return. Paul had to go in to get it because I looked like a tear-stained wreck, and all he had to tell them was that the name on the license was Lynn Barnett, and it was in a hot pink wallet. I knew that wallet would come in handy...

Adventure #2: Switching restaurants after 45 minutes of waiting to be seated.

In downtown Pensacola, there is a building that houses two restaurants owned by the same company - The Fish House and the Atlas. We were waiting to be seated at the Fish House, and upon being seated and looking over the menu, we realize (and had it confirmed 5 minutes later by our sweet, Samoan-looking waitress) that they did not serve snow crab legs. Now, if you know me AT ALL, you know that this is the food I had been WAITING for, mainly because it's only like, 3 points for an entire serving with WW, and even having some of the butter is okay, and man, they're awesome....

ANYWAY.

Needless to say, Paul was the supportive husband who allowed himself to look absolutely retarded as we walked across the patio to the other restaurant. I finally got my crab legs, and they were a tad overcooked. I know, I sound like a pompous ass, but I consider myself to be somewhat of a snow crab aficionado, so this was a tad disappointing. The manager, (who originally had to deal with us - the picky couple wanting some damn snow crab legs), handled himself quite well, and when he asked what I thought of the crab, I gave him my honest opinion. Once again, if you know me at all, I don't usually EVER do this. If someone I'm with chooses to complain about something, I might chime in, but never do I out and out tell anyone they should be doing a better job, blah blah blah. (Mainly because I don't want to be poisoned or have someone's saliva in my food.) Well, this manager took it upon himself to make up for the cook's mistake, and gave us a free piece of Key Lime pie. BAM. I may start complaining more...

Adventure #3: Heat stroke. Almost.

Our last night at the B&B, and we're getting ready for bed. We had just done a photo shoot at the beach a little while earlier, so we were kinda warmish anyway, but we are overheating in our room, and it's only 9:00. We've got every light off, the TV on low, and we're laying in the bed, sweating. The major problem with this is that we both get EXTREMELY hot at night when sleeping, so this is a predicament. To put it bluntly, we're almost in our birthday suits, waiting for the ceiling fan to take effect, when we remember - BOO YAH - we brought a small box fan with us in the event that the B&B didn't have a ceiling fan in our room. We plug it in, sit it on one of the chairs, and aim it at our faces. It helped. Somewhat.

The next morning, we're sitting at breakfast with some of the other couples, and one of the owners (Bob) came to the table, points at Rebecca (one of the other gals), and says, "Did you use a blow dryer last night?"

Somewhat stunned, Rebecca responds, "Um, yeah...why?"

"Well," Bob says in his New Jersey accented, almost matter-of-fact tone, "that's why the air conditioner cut off last night. The outlet you used and the AC are on the same breaker (STUPID, STUPID, STUPID), so if it was hot upstairs (eyeing the rest of the table) that would be why."

All of us (except for one couple who together, probably weighed a total of 100 lbs.) all nodded in agreement. Of course, I, with my big mouth, blurt out, "Well, I'm glad it wasn't just us. Cause we're towering infernos when we sleep, and man...it was rough! By the way, Bob, you don't have to clean any of the blankets in our room - we didn't use them." I won't see these people again...it's okay.

Other memorable moments:

• Having the weather channel say that it was going to pour all weekend, and it only rained twice that I can think of.
  
• Pictures of the sky


• Evan Almighty and License to Wed - we recommend both of them!


• King-size bed...sigh...


• Passing through Century, FL. (aw...Hannah...)


• Realizations about sand. Specifically, the fact that I hate it. Officially.


• Hearing God...


• Good food


• Activity points


• Not only did I not gain weight, I finally made my 10% goal!!! New tattoo...here I come...


• Spending time with old friends...Eric East...you're awesome. We love you!

And today, I was back at work. Boo...

Spending the 4th on the river...

What a day. I've been continuously reminded of the differences between me and the rest of the South. I learned today that old toilets are as good as any other kind of planter for your flowers on your front porch, that having original KKK members in your family is something to claim, and that being distantly related to the Kennedy family is not. Please don't get me wrong, I love my in-laws and the rest of the extended family. However, I do take great pleasure in simply listening and attempting to understand the conversations that go on back and forth between some of the family members. Please...endulge yourselves in some of the comments:

Aunt Ginger: "Whin (When) somethings happen, I don't never plan on gettin' any more." (Speaking of having inside dogs)

Aunt Ginger: "Now, ya'll know how owuld (old) I am, but I can't remember nothin'. But ya'll know Mayrin (Myron, her husband, sitting across the room from her)...he can remember stoof (stuff) that don't nobody else remembers. He amazing me..."

Uncle Myron: "I been up there in that Michigan. Man, it was 17 degrees and snowin'. And I was dumb enough to leave them there boots outside of my sleeping bag. They was freeeezing in the mornin'." (In response to showing our pictures from our trip)

FIL (Father-In-Law): "Now, not all KKK members was stupid enough to go out and kill blacks. They was started ta keep peace, ta keep thangs right."

FIL: "Now, ya'll know the rednecks that come on down here...make them signs perty!" (Asking me to make signs to sell his watermelon, cantaloupe, and tomatoes on the side of the road.)

FIL to Myron: "What's that old song...somethin' about "the South shall rise again"? C'mon...who sang that there song?"

Myron to FIL: "Uh, not sure...uh...Carl Jr. Yeah...that be him."

FIL to Myron: "Oh yeah, Carl Jr. He was the best..." (Who the crap is Carl Jr.?!)

There's a taste for you. Needless to say, I'm more than ready for vacation tomorrow. More to come...

Well, I figured it would be higher...

I'm counting down...

...to the beach!! YAY!! We leave on the 5th to go to Pensacola, and we'll be back on Sunday, the 8th. This will be our first vacation by ourselves since we've been married, and although it will keep us tight on money for a minute, it'll be TOTALLY worth it. We're staying in a bed & breakfast in one of the historic districts down there...I'm so pumped. I promise...we don't travel anywhere near as much as we want to, so if it seems that way, it's not. :) I'm just ready to be with just my husband for a little while - a chance to relax and do NOTHING. We've committed to starting our 10 hours of prayer while we're there...I figure it's a good place to start. (For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, we're having a Month of Prayer at Safe Harbor Church during July. We've committed to praying for 10 hours throughout the month. For more info, click here.)


Needless to say, we need to get our butts in gear spiritually. Ever have those times in life where nothing seems right? I mean, my marriage is fine (no worries), and we love church, but other than that...it just seems...eh, I don't know....complacent, for lack of a better term. Paul and I were talking last night, and we both realized that we're selfish. Now, trust me, this is not a new epiphany for either one of us, but it did hit us rather hard. I realized that I miss Jesus. I miss Him because I haven't invited him to be with me lately. I haven't asked Him what He wants me to do with my life. I guess when you feel purposeless so often, it's hard to remember to do that. And it's not that I don't have a purpose...I just haven't been asking God about it as of late. Being in the South has aided me in thinking this way because you're in the Bible belt and everyone around you claims to be a Christian, so life is good...you don't need to change, you don't need to challenge yourself, you don't need the Bible or discipline...which, I've learned the hard way, is wrong. I know this. But I want to experience it, if for the millionth time. Does that make sense?


I love Luke & Shana (our pastor and his wife). They challenge us in so many ways, and that's one of the main reasons we know we're supposed to be at Safe Harbor right now. We're committed (even if we're not going to be there on the 8th...boo...) because we know, if nothing else, that this is where we belong for now. Paul and I are called to do something, we just don't know what yet. Having a place to call home for the time being is GREAT. I want God to challenge me again, to rid me of this selfishness, but not yet. I'm scared. I'm tempted. I'm not clean. And I know that it's in this particular state, that He gently (not forcefully) calls me back to Him.


Oh God..."my heart and flesh may fail, you're my everpresent help"...be my tower of strength right now...

50 Random Facts About Me

1. My favorite movie is Remember the Titans.
2. My second favorite is Stranger than Fiction.
3. I have really wide feet.
4. My hair has been almost every color, except for fully bleached and black.
5. I’ve worn glasses since 1st grade.
6. I’ve loved Pepsi all of my life, but I now like Diet Coke a little better...
7. I knew I was going to marry Paul the day we went out to lunch at Applebee’s in Bessemer.
8. My dad is the third dad I’ve had.
9. I got married exactly 7 months after my 22nd birthday. To the day.
10. I’m going to Florida in a week.
11. I will have my second Bed & Breakfast experience in Florida next week.
12. I have family in at least 7 states (that I can think of).
13. My favorite number is 7.
14. I miss eating fettuccine alfredo.
15. If you include Canada, I’ve been to 11 countries other than the U.S.
16. I’ve had two surgeries in my life thus far – I’ve had both my wisdom teeth and my gallbladder removed.
17. My favorite color is Kelly green.
18. I bite my nails.
19. I’ve never been turned down at a job I’ve interviewed at.
20. I never carry cash with me. If I do, it’s extremely rare.
21. I have flown more times than I can count.
22. I was barefoot in my wedding.
23. I was born in Oak Lawn, IL.
24. I’ve moved 9 times.
25. If I had gone to college, I would have majored in either English or Psychology.
26. My husband is on the 10-year plan, and is now studying Psychology. We were meant to be.
27. I’ve lost almost 22 lbs since February.
28. I love seafood and meat – any kind, just about.
29. Ranch is my favorite salad dressing.
30. I love Harry Potter (books and movies, but books more). I can’t wait for the new movie to come out – July 11th!!!
31. I miss the North (or Midwest…however you want to look at it).
32. I personally know someone whose name starts with every letter of the alphabet except for Q, U, V, X & Z.
33. My favorite fiction book (thus far) is Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers.
34. One of my favorite non-fiction books is Messy Spirituality by Mike Yaconelli.
35. My house has 9 different colors painted on the walls.
36. I’ve sang in two weddings in my lifetime, and played my French horn in one.
37. I played French horn for 8 years.
38. We named our family dog Taffy because she was born in October (taffy-covered apples).
39. I want to live in Portland someday.
40. I could very easily eat pizza every day.
41. My top three favorite cereals are Cinnamon Life, Cocoa Krispies and Frosted Mini Wheats.
42. My favorite band (currently) is Anberlin.
43. My favorite singer/songwriter is Derek Webb.
44. I hate clowns.
45. I hate bugs.
46. We want to adopt kids someday.
47. I can’t wait to get a mini-van.
48. I can wait to have kids. For a while.
49. I love musicals, but I never have enough money to see the ones I want.
50. I love hoodies and flip-flops.

Thank Melissa...

Things I observed during our 4 hours at Midway Airport:

• Eating smelly food + sitting by strangers (us, to be exact) = GROSS
• Being delayed over and over again seriously decreases your faith in Southwest Airlines
• Crazy ladies in white cut off shorts cussing into cell phones for over 30 minutes should NOT have kids. And this one did - two boys - they don't stand a chance.
• I heart Ben & Jerry's, hot wings and Amaretto Sours.
• Preppy families awaiting their flight to Providence are charming (read ridiculous, and with a Connecticut accent). But the daughter had cute, red shoes. The son, on the other hand, was dumb. And the cuteness of the shoes wore off after crazy, cut off shorts lady complimented them. So sad.
• Have you ever experienced the very end of existence - or at least the end of the terminal at the end of a wing at Midway airport? Wow...you feel as if you're going to fall off the face of the earth...or you already have...
• Having to walk barefoot through security is disturbing on so many levels.
• Paul refused to get an "I heart Chicago" t-shirt...he hates it here. Now I don't have a chance.
• An Ipod and a laptop would have come in handy during this time.
• Boob jobs on girls that are a size zero are ridiculous. They look as if they're going to capsize.
• I desperately appreciate well-mannered kids sitting still and staying quiet in airports. We only saw two of them...maybe there's still hope for our kids...
• Camouflage anything should be burned, unless you're hunting. And even then, it's ugly.
• If you speak another language, that's awesome. Just don't go screaming it into a cell phone while next to me. Thanks.
• Plaids and stripes DO NOT go together. I repeat - DO NOT.
• Airport food is expensive. Boo...
• Note to self - never accept a free alcoholic drink on an airplane, and especially not at 10:30 pm. Not a good combo.
• And finally, to the weirdo flirting with the flight attendants and watching Garbage Pail Kids - The Movie...no one wants to hear you. I promise. Especially not when there's a screaming baby behind me, and two strangers talking it up on the other side of me. Get a clue - too much talky talky.

Needless to say, I'm glad I wasn't sitting in this predicament by myself. Paul was truly a sanity-saver...and I think we actually had some fun while sitting there. We didn't get home till 12:00ish last night (or this morning, rather) so sorry for the delay. Thanks for reading!

Day Four/Five

Yesterday was an adventure, to say the least. Mini-golf happened, but little did we know that "Fineland" was going to be like a scene from a horror movie. All the games were broken down, the clown's face on the cotton candy machine completely distorted (and I HATE clowns), the skee-ball machine ate my quarter, and the mini golf was...rough. The greens were all torn up, the water in the "fountains" was mucky and brown, and the racing boats were afloat in the nastiest water I have ever seen. But man, such an exciting 18! Boo... Note to self - don't settle for the nearest mini golf course you find on the Internet. Research, research, research. Needless to say, we were all thankful that we attempted this place in the day light, because otherwise, we were awaiting a masked villain holding a chain saw or something...

Now, one of the best parts of the day was the fact that my brother had his boxers all over the lodge. This may sound strange, but this caused my future sister-in-law to post a huge note on the front door for when he returned from their game of real golf. A note that everyone saw. And laughed at. It just made me laugh because when he did come home, his first question to me was, "How do I deal with my future wife when she acts like my mom?" I had to say that he'll have to deal with it because it's part of our nature, and Paul had to throw in that most times, he gets stubborn and doesn't do what I ask because he doesn't want to be told what to do. At least he's honest...

Later that afternoon, Paul and I hit up the pool, while everyone went into town in waves. Now, I'm most definitely a fan of shopping in little shops for stuff you will NEVER need, but I just wasn't in the mood for it yesterday. We then proceeded to the restaurant of the almost-fainting host. He was better this time around, and had the knowhow to set us all up in one room. However, there was another family sitting at one of the four tables we needed, so like good grandchildren, we all piled into the room and took over one of the sets of tables already set up. We ran them out with our loud, Yankee talk, and fake arguments over sweet vs. sweetened tea. It was great. I think it took about 7 minutes total. We had a great dinner, the waitresses at least pretended to like our loud, obnoxious group, and the entire restaurant knew who we were when all of the grandchildren gathered together to YELL thank you to our grandparents in true, 5-year old fashion. Awesome.

The night ended with an excrutiating walk to a light house (thank you, cheap-a Pay-less shoes...we're still friends, it's ok...), another family photo at the light house, ice cream (again), and another set of sweaty, sticky badminton games. Yes, that's the proper spelling. In case you were wondering.

Today, however, is our last day here. I'm in the middle of immensely enjoying a homemade omelet, compliments of my Uncle Dave, and we'll continue on to clean up our stuff, and head out around 12:00 (11:00 our time) with Kari, the mom-like future sister-in-law. But Paul gets to drive the Acura. Our flight goes out tonight, and we return to our boring lives in AL. As quirky as our family is, I love and miss them a lot most of the time. It'll be hard to leave.

Day Three

Yesterday consisted of eating, having "Bible time" with most of the family, hot tubbing, swimming, falling asleep on a pool chair, more eating, seeing my other set of grandparents, eating, the bean bag tourney (we were out in the second round - Mandy - thanks for being interested), eating, and a crazy, intense three games of badmitton - boys vs. girls. We lost all three. It made me sad. But we played for 90 mins - awesome activity points. Then we had to deal with my almost deaf grandfather watching Pirates of the Carribean (the first one) at top volume, even though people were sleeping. Boo...

I had some good conversations, napping, and activity. I just shouldn't work and move up here. Geez...

I think today we're facing possible mini-golf, shopping, and dinner as a whole family tonight at a restaurant in town. We attempted to make a reservation for 21 and a high chair on Saturday, and the host almost passed out. Gotta love big, family vacations.

Vacation, Day two

So now I get to be on my cousin's MacBook Pro...and wow. I want this thing. Anyway, yesterday pretty much consisted of preparing for and taking family pictures. Super fun. Can you tell by the immense amount of happy in my typing?? 23 people (including all age groups between a newborn and my 70-something year old grandfather) taking pictures throughout the lodge we're staying at, and then being forced to go to the beach to take an immediate family shot. Too many pictures, in my opinion. And we all had to be in a similar color palette as far as clothing goes. Yeah...awesome. So I'm sweating my arse off and having to smile AND keep my eyes open in the sun...too much for a fat girl to handle, lemme tell ya.

But the photographer was the dad in the family I stayed with during my first year of Master's Commission in Hammond, IN. It was so great to see him and his family - they have four kids now, but only had two when I lived with them. It's so strange to see and hear about people growing up and multiplying (like, getting married, etc.)

Later in the afternoon, we went canoeing. Yeah. So, canoeing might not be the best thing for our marriage...we'll leave it at that. But it gave me 4 activity points with WW, so I that's all that mattered to me. Add some "strolling" with my mother (read "power-walking" while being in flip flops...ugh), and a couple minutes in the hot tub...and I was READY for ice cream. And I got it. Well, I got frozen yogurt, but it was still good. I then wasted 30 minutes of my life watching the end of War of the Worlds, and ventured off to bed. By the way, futons do NOT do it for me, no matter how how "comfortable" they may seem...it's all lies...

Paul has already commented on the fact that I'm getting addicted to this fine machine...and that was before he started to read this blog...

I woke up this morning to my grandfather shoving a bowl in my face full of tiny, folded pieces of paper, adamantly proclaiming that I HAVE to pick a number...NOW...before anything else. So, come to find out, these numbers are the pairings for an all-family bean bag tournament taking place today, and I'm paired with one of my uncles. Welcome to my family...

We're here!

So, we got to Chicago after a longer flight than what we're used to, and we had to wait at the airport for a minute because Southwest updated my dad incorrectly - they told him we wouldn't get in until 9:20ish, but we ended up landing at 8:55. Oh well. My 16 year old brother was driving, so that made the trip home even more interesting. Of course, the usual banter ensues - "How's your job?" (I hate my job, I'm ready to slit my wrist) "Paul, how is the shop?" (He was ready to get away as well...) "You ready for this huge family picture?" (Oh yeah...good times). I love my family, but they're weird at times...

So after an excursion to check out bridesmaid's dresses at Ann Taylor with my future sister in law yesterday (the dresses are "watermelon"...woo hoo), we drove to Michigan. I find out while driving the three hours (or so) that my little brother is drinking, my other brother's youth group is giving him shiny, sequined dresses to wear (long story) and some of their single MILFs are hitting on him (um...yeah, there's no extra comments to make about that), and my mother is now drinking wine (my parents are committed to not drinking during their Bible Study, which meets during the school year, but apparently, the summer is ok to be a lush...) - wow. Super great trip. Super great.

Then we get to this Lodge. My entire mom's side of the family is staying in the same house. It's not as bad as it sounds at all, but since there are 6 married couples and only 5 bedrooms, Paul and I get the boot almost automatically because we're the youngest. Now, this sounds pretty crappy, and it is, for the most part. You have to understand that I'm the oldest grandchild, and I'm married. It's weird for everyone. So, needless to say, we get to sleep in a HUGE room with my two brothers, my future sis-in-law, and all of my cousins. Party room...excellent...

The lodge has wireless internet, though, so thanks to my Uncle Alan for allowing me to partake of his computer right now.

I'll continue to update...don't worry. This weekend is already proving to be something worthy of many blogs...

By the way...

I hate money, and the banks that handle it. Because a lot of times, they don't handle it - they screw everything up. Grrr....

On a lighter note, we are leaving today to go to Chicago/Michigan until Tuesday for my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary. I hope we make it to 50 years...dang. We're taking a big group photo - should prove to be interesting, to say the least. Our entire family is staying in one big cottage for the weekend/week (we're not staying that long). I love my family, and most times, I miss them tremendously...but mostly, I think I miss the North. I would move back up there somewhere in a heartbeat...

Did you notice I use "..." a lot? Anyway, I hope everyone is well - for the like, 5 readers of this blog thus far.

"You can't hold yourself together...

...why should I hold you now?" (a line from "Never Take Friendship Personal" by Anberlin)

Disclaimer: I've had to say this in other blogs I've written - I appreciate anyone's feedback, but if you're going to give me a Sunday School answer (i.e. "pray about it", "God is always there", etc.), you can hold off for now. Thanks.

Sometimes, this is how I feel people see me. They think I'm super strong, can stand up to anyone or anything, and never have problems. Or, they think I'm extremely negative and sarcastic, so if I get out of control, helping me wouldn't be worth it. Well, to be totally honest, I don't like me. I don't like who I've let myself become. I don't like being negative - I promise, I wasn't always. I'm not sure if it's my attitude affecting everything else, or everything else affecting my attitude...probably some of both. But either way, it sucks. I have a great life - I'm 24 years old, I've lost 21 lbs. over the last 4 months so I'm feeling better than ever, I have an amazing husband, I own a house, my church has it's hang ups just like every other church, but God is moving an changing things, and Luke is a great pastor....but I still feel like the things my life revolves around aren't worth it. Does this make sense to anyone? I complain - I bitch, even - constantly. That's not good. At all. I can't hold myself together...I can't. But what to do? I cry out to Jesus for help, but either He's being really quiet right now, or I can't hear Him.

Blah.

So, why the name?

Well, I came to Birmingham through a ministry program I was in called Master's Commission. Most of my family still remains somewhere in the Midwestern/Northern area of the country, and they all thought I was crazy. CRAZY. "Why Birmingham?!" Well, I try to do what God tells me to do, so...almost 6 years later, I'm still here. However, I continue to consider myself "transplanted" and many people here will still call me a yankee (and yes, they will still use the other part of that term)...hence the name.

Hi, I'm Lynn.

Nice to meet you. I'm still in the process of figuring this Blogspot thing out, so keep coming back as this place is under contruction.

My church dragged me into this. :)