Make me be STILL

You can tell how my week has been when you find out that I went to bed last night with an old Madonna song in my head and 3 to-do lists running, and I woke up this morning with a Ben Folds song in my head and 4 to-do lists running. *Sigh* It has been one of those weeks, and not just for me. I feel as though I'm surround by people who are frustrated with life, work, church, etc. People who are expecting more and aren't satisfied. People who are hurting because of loss, brokenness, physical pain. People struggling with doubt, fear, anger, and maybe even a bit of insanity (maybe that's just me...ha). I've experienced all of these things, and although I am the person I am today because of it, that doesn't take away the aching strain that life puts on us. This is why my devotion last night was so meaningful to me. It's taken from "The One Year Daily Grind" devotional by Sarah Arthur. This devotional has been awesome thus far...I would highly recommend it for people who are a bit scattered - people who can handle daily devotional readings without a ton of structure. (Sarah is a divinity student @ Duke, married to her best friend (Tom) and has written 6 devotional books...need I say more?)

It's a poem/prayer she wrote called "Make Me Be Still" based loosely on Psalm 131:

God, make me be still.

My mind is full of words and pictures
and ideas I imagine to be true.
My heart is full of desires
I wrongfully feel I'm entitled to.
My body is full of sleep
and cobwebs and dust.
My soul is empty.

Now I know that when
my rambling, fast-forward
high-powered mind
and my creative, unrealistic imagination
take over my life,
my relationship with You suffers.
And when my body is sleepy,
I'm not awake to Your presence.
When my soul is empty,
I have nothing to give to others.

So if my mind is taking over,
let my thoughts be full of you, Jesus.
And if my imagination is taking over,
let it be baptized and sanctified by you, Jesus.
And if my body is taking over,
may it be awakened and energized by you, Jesus.
And if my soul is empty,
pour in your Holy Spirit till I'm full to overflowing.
Be the conscious control
over every aspect of who I am,
for it is in You that I live
and move and have my very being.

Amen.

Dude!

I'm actually on YouTube! It's not the best performance by any means, but for those who were there, it was definitely a GOD moment. Our worship leader put up a few clips from the IMPACT Youth Retreat weekend...hopefully we can get some feedback or something. :)

Click here to see our cover of "We Are Broken" by Paramore. We're still looking for a name!

Update

So I'm not as bored now, I guess. LOL. Here's a general update:

• I love to-do lists. It's a sad thing that has been mentioned already on this blog, but I don't care. It helps me sleep to write stuff out. Sorry, I know that's random, but it's sitting here next to me and I was thinking about it...
• This past weekend was awesome! The youth retreat went so well...it was impacting for all of us, not just the kids. I was sick most of the weekend (and still am for the most part), but God pulled through in helping all of us sing/play. We had so much fun with the worship team...*sigh*. I love it. We are searching for a name, so if you have any ideas, let me know!
• We're so pumped to be moving to a new building for church. It's going to be a big change, but I feel like this is the change we have been needing for a while now. It's the first time I've felt so positive about the possibility of moving being discussed. And now it's not just being discussed, it's actually happening! We can't wait for March!
• This weather needs to even itself out. If it wants to be cold, it needs to stay cold. If it wants to be warm, it needs to stay warm. This isn't hard, Birmingham.
• We want a dog. Paul is really wanting one, even if he tells you otherwise. We almost adopted a puppy from a friend of a friend, but we haven't followed up on it, and I think it's a bit early yet. Paul wants to get the privacy fence done before we get one, but I don't know if it will work - he's so busy with school and church that his weekends are booked up. Oh well...I'm sure he'll work it out. He even has other people asking him for his advice on fences and such - I love that people are seeing his talents and encouraging him in them. It makes me happy. Anyway, we were thinking about a border collie, which would be great, but after watching a Dog Whisperer episode on a super angry herding dog, I'm not so sure...
• I'm ready for friends to come visit - I can't wait for good friends of old to meet good friends of present. :)
• I'm pumped about new movies coming out: He's Just Not that Into You, Confessions of a Shopaholic, Push, Race to Witch Mountain, Fast & the Furious (yes, I'm a nerd, but it has the original cast), Night at the Museum 2, etc.
• I'm loving the new devotional I'm reading through - the title has something to do with coffee and God, and I'm too lazy to go find it. Anyway, it's a college student writing it, and it's a bit random at times, but that works for me. And it's helping me actually read something in the Bible every day. It makes me happy.
• I totally forgot to post about tattoo #5 in my last couple posts! It's 'Freedom' in Greek from Galatians 5:1 on my left wrist. I'm happy to have both wrists done now...I have to get my other ankle done - the lack of symmetry is killing me.
• I'm also a bit obsessed with TV right now. We're into a few different shows...I have to watch myself or I'll start spending too much time with it. I think we might start getting into Heroes...IDK. We watch Chuck/possibly Heroes on Mondays, AI/Scrubs on Tuesday, and AI/Lie to Me on Wednesday. We don't really do anything on Thursday/Friday, but who knows...it could start.
• I'm sad - we were planning on going to Boston over July 4th, but I don't think it's going to pan out. It's really expensive, and it's coming up too quickly to fully plan it. I'm not sure what we'll do, but I already have the vacation time scheduled - maybe we'll start training a dog that week!
• I think my parents and my grandparents (mom's side) are coming down in April. It's exciting and sad at the same time - it'll be the first and most likely the last time my grandparents will be down here. My grandma's situation is a long story right now, but let's just say it's going downhill. I hate bittersweet emotions.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Props to me for blogging a bit more regularly! :)

Do you ever just get bored?

That's how I feel today...bored. Really bored. I'm not complaining - I'd rather be bored having a job than not having a job. But really...I just wonder when this part of my life will be over. And it probably won't be for a while. *sigh*

Maybe all of this deep contemplation is due to me watching My So-Called Life...the complete series. Ha. Too bad my Jordan Catalano is painting cars right now... ;)

Oh, and I heart Activia yogurt. Seriously. It's probably not the best thing to be eating with my sinuses being all jacked up and my throat all irritated, but whatever. Sorry for the randomness. Maybe I'll blog about something real later...

Whoa...it's been a while

I didn't realize that it's been almost two months since I've posted anything, and the last thing to be posted was a survey. I'm a loser. Anyway, the past two months have been busy ones - here's a brief update:

• Spent Thanksgiving with Paul's family - super fun, let me tell you.
• Watched Alabama kill Auburn. :)
• Watched Alabama get killed by Florida. :(
• Spent Christmas (well, part of the week prior to) on a Disney Cruise with my dad's whole family. It was so much fun...seriously. I would recommend it to anyone who has kids (and even those who don't).
• Spent Christmas weekend with my family in Chicago - snow, family, good food, good times.
• Paul started back to school, including doing an internship with church - don't worry, he's basically been doing all of it already, so it's not much different than normal life @ SHC for us. Which is a good thing.
• I logged onto MySpace for the first time since October or November and cleaned it out. That was crazy.
• Had an amazing time at Worship @ Workplay.
• Spent this past weekend back in Chicago for an extended family Christmas party - this was with the family of the cousin who passed away in November. Sad, but still very good.

*Sigh* OK. Now that the update is officially done, here's what on my heart currently:

Marriage/Family: We are surrounding by marriages that are falling apart, even before they even had a chance to get off the ground. We're also surrounded by marriages that are falling apart after almost 30 years. It's truly unbelievable to me, but at the same time, I have to remember that life isn't going to get better or easier as we get closer to Jesus coming back. I know that sounds super spiritual, and trust me, I'm not one to talk about end times (that's a whole other blog...), but more and more, I am reminded that the things of God will be attacked the hardest before He comes back. I can't deny that it's started. Our hearts are broken by these broken marriages, homes, families, hearts...I almost can't put it into words. I have, however, taken all of this as a sign for me to be praying the blood of Jesus over my marriage, and those around us that are holding strong. I can't imagine my life without Paul, and God knows I'm not going to lose him without a super hard fight, no matter what may come. When God orchestrates something like marriage, I believe it's harder for the enemy to fight it. God knew what He was doing when HE created marriage, and I'm not going to stop believing that now, even in the face of the Church looking as bad as (or worse than) the world.

Church: People leaving, drama, miscommunication, lack of communication, heartache, people being stretched almost too thinly (in more ways than one)...GAH. I don't know what's going to happen, but I know that God has a plan, and I'm going to try my darndest to keep faith even when other people won't. Paul and I fell in love with SHC over 2 years ago, and that love has not and will not die. Does that mean we're going to be at SHC forever? Probably not. But knowing that we are where we're supposed to be is HUGE. Being in a small church is hard, but as far as I'm concerned, we've been more rewarded by it than anything, and although the future is unclear, we are unashamed and moving forward. It's time to stop making excuses and start making progress, no matter how long it takes or how hard it is, and with God as my witness and prayer as my weapon...

New life: On a more positive note, we're so encouraged by new life, whether it's literal (as in a new baby or finding out someone is preggo), or it's spiritual (people fighting to let go of their past and to move forward with Jesus, or being saved - really saved - and giving up their lives to God). As you all know, I am a self-proclaimed control freak - I consider it my thorn. But I can't tell you how it encourages me to see other people giving up control about crap in their lives - surrender is attractive, and it's attracting me in the oddest ways. I feel like I am being pulled up out of the hole that has been my life for the past couple years, and re-embracing my life in Christ. It's a slow, hard thing, but so good. So, SOOOOO good. We're seeing it in people at church, friends near and far, the worship team (I'm smiling just thinking about that), in our marriage, our families, etc. God is so good, and He gets all the glory. Watch out...I'm about to get pentecostal in here! lol... In the midst of all the darkness, God is the light - I read about that on Sam's blog today, and it made me smile a huge smile! (Thanks for posting that, Sam!)

Coming events:

• FREE massage next week - not by Lindsey, but hopefully equally as good! Thank God for gift certificates!
• Winter Youth Retreat (1.30 - 2.1) - our worship team is leading worship for the kiddies at the retreat, and we are so pumped about it! :)
• Friends from Ohio coming for a visit (2.20 - 2.22) - woo-hoo!
• My birthday (2.24) - the big #26 lol...but I think we're going to Atlanta to see Ben Folds! YAY!

Survey time!

From Meg's blog, by way of Rachel's blog, by way of Andrea's blog...

Three names you go by:
1. Lynn
2. Babe
3. Lynnaford

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Green sweater
2. brown pants
3. Shoes

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. The long weekend to come faster
2. A dog!

Three people who will probably fill this out:
They already have...

Two things you did last night:
1. Ate cereal for dinner
2. Sat on my butt

Two things you ate today:
1. Banana bread muffin from my grandma
2. Moe's

Two people you last talked to on the phone:
1. The doctor
2. Paul

Two things you are going to do tomorrow:
1. Go to work
2. Go to the gym...I hope

Two longest rides you have taken:
1. From Hammond, IN to Phoenix, AZ
2. From Phoenix, AZ to New Orleans, LA

Two favorite beverages:
1. Diet Coke
2. Woodchuck hard cider

Twilight

So...I'm disappointed. The movie was mediocre at best, and although I wasn't expecting it to be like the books at all, it was still very rushed, VERY cheesy in some parts, and there was a huge lack of character development. It ended leaving everything wide open for the second movie, so maybe they'll do better next time. Now these are just my opinions (and mostly the opinions of the 5 other girls I saw the movie with last night), so go see it to decide for yourselves. BTW - screw Edward (Robert Pattison) - he's not as dreamy as everyone made him out to be, and is pretty creepy in real life, along with Jasper (Jackson Rathbone)...like whoa. Emmet (Kellan Lutz - the big one on the left), on the other hand, can pretty much take me anytime (as long as he sticks to the dark hair - the blonde makes him look ridiculous), with Jacob (Taylor Lautner) as a close second (even more so when he's not jailbait).