Click here to watch a man sing all about me. (Ok, it's about his wife, but he might as well be singing about me...)

LOL - I'm not that crazy, but I'm close!

Post #100!

This is a perfect topic for my 100th post...

Considering I've lost approximately 15 lbs. since January, and I'm committed to continuing, I've come up with my top 10 pros (not in any order) to losing weight. Of course there are cons, but I'm staying positive!

• Feeling better - I can't tell you how much better I feel physically right now. I've been up and down in my weight since highschool, and this is probably the best I've felt in a long time.
• Walking - I'm telling you, I was fully against walking (thanks to my mom...long story) prior to owning a dog. That's right...every time Nacho and I go walking, that old school Chicago song pops into my head... "You're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration..." She definitely pushes me - I just know I'll feel guilty if I don't walk her, unless it's raining...
• My calves - I know that sounds silly, but they're my favorite part of my body. I've always had pretty beefy legs (from years of soccer when I was younger), but they're finally getting some actual shape back, instead of just being beefy. LOL.
• How clothes fit - It's kinda rough right now because I'm inbetween sizes, and although I don't have a specific size as a goal (being healthy is the goal), I can see and feel myself going down. I'm not ever going to be Barbie, and I'm finally starting to be happy with who I am and how I look, even in dresses! Just the fact that a lot of my clothes are big on me is good enough!
• Taking clothes OUT of the goodwill bag - HA! We donate to the thrift store at least a couple times a year, and in the past, it's been because clothes were too small for me, and giving them away made me feel a touch better about the situation. But now, I've been able to grab a couple things back out of the bag because they FIT!
• Having more energy - I know, I know...it's cliche, but it's so true! My appetite suppressant has helped a lot, but now I'm starting to feel that energy anyway.
• Food DOES NOT control me - This is huge. I'm an emotional/stress eater, which is why I got to the size I did. I was allowing my life to revolve around food, using the fact that I love it (cooking, experimenting, etc.) as my excuse. But now, I've allowed myself to feel hungry - something I was not used to. It's been very freeing. And I am continuing to work on not letting myself feel guilty if I go overboard every once in a while - it truly is all about moderation.
• Paul being "worried" about me leaving - JK! He did make that comment the other day, but I know he's not serious, and trust me, he has nothing to worry about. But to see him look at me differently, and notice how things are changing...he doesn't know how much that encourages me. I don't thank him enough for that.
• Size "Large" - Now this may seem kinda vulnerable, but it's the truth - I was super pumped to buy a dress in a size LARGE instead of XL. I was smiling so big at Wal-Mart (yeah, that's how I roll) that I'm sure the woman running the fitting room thought I was crazy. As a side note - smaller underwear is a HUGE plus too!! Sorry...TMI...
• Relying on God - This may seem off-topic, but when my doctor put me on the appetite suppresant originally, I was at the bottom. I knew I needed to change, but I was so lazy...I was afraid that nothing would happen, just like every other time I've tried, so what was the point? Now, I have specific goals, like getting the ol' bod ready for pregnancy...and no, nothing is going on in that area. I just know it's going to take a while, and I knew I needed to get started if I want to be remotely healthy when I do get pregnant. I have some great encouragement (especially from Nacho!), and I'm really starting to believe I can do it. It's a beautiful thing.

So - I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can think of right now. Do you have anything to add?

Meet our new baby!

This is Nacho. We adopted her last week from the Birmingham Humane Society. She's a 9 month old hound mix (mutt), and she's precious. Although we have had a hellish week with her this week, we are so happy to have her. She has gone through it this week - the vet found a mass in her stomach area last Saturday. The vet told us to keep an eye on the mass for a couple days, and if it didn't go away, to bring her in. It did not go away, so we brought her in on Tuesday - she got a full round of blood work and an xray, but that showed us nothing. The vet recommended talking to the humane society about possibly doing an exploratory surgery, considering the mass was closer to her private area, and it could be a side effect from her spay surgery. We tried calling yesterday, but with no luck. She wasn't eating or pooping normally throughout the week, and by yesterday morning, we found tape worms in her poop. BOO. As if that wasn't enough, she started bleeding a bit last night, as if she was in heat. Hence, more suspicion about her spay surgery and me losing it. Paul brought her to the humane society during lunch today, and the vet tech there decided to do another surgery to see what the mass is and/or if there were any problems with her spay. We've heard that the surgery went well and that Nacho is doing well, but we haven't gotten details on anything yet.

So within a week and a half and almost $400 later, God is giving us a glimpse of what it takes to be parents. LOL.

UPDATE: The vet @ the humance society finally called us back from her cell phone (bless her!) around 7:00ish on Friday night. She said that when they did Nacho's spay about a month ago, she had already started her cycle, so the amount of blood during the surgery was at a higher level than normal (sorry, that's probably gross). Anyway, because of that, the vet did two internal sutures instead of just one. Apparently, the first suture leaked into the second one and caused a clot of blood to form (not a blood clot, like we think of, but a pouch of blood). That's what the mass was, and that's why she started bleeding on Thursday night. We're super thankful that we brought her in when we did because the clot could have ruptured at any time, and would have caused her to hemmorage (sp?). Yikes!! They cleaned her out during the surgery, and used staples to make sure nothing happened when they sewed her up. PLUS they did the whole thing for free, and sent the medicine (anti-inflammatory and antibiotic) home for free as well. Thank you Jesus! Needless to say, when we got her back on Saturday, she was worn out and drugged up, so the weekend was pretty laid back in comparison to what we had planned. Our baby looks like Frankenstein, but we're thankful that she's ok! :)

Make me be STILL

You can tell how my week has been when you find out that I went to bed last night with an old Madonna song in my head and 3 to-do lists running, and I woke up this morning with a Ben Folds song in my head and 4 to-do lists running. *Sigh* It has been one of those weeks, and not just for me. I feel as though I'm surround by people who are frustrated with life, work, church, etc. People who are expecting more and aren't satisfied. People who are hurting because of loss, brokenness, physical pain. People struggling with doubt, fear, anger, and maybe even a bit of insanity (maybe that's just me...ha). I've experienced all of these things, and although I am the person I am today because of it, that doesn't take away the aching strain that life puts on us. This is why my devotion last night was so meaningful to me. It's taken from "The One Year Daily Grind" devotional by Sarah Arthur. This devotional has been awesome thus far...I would highly recommend it for people who are a bit scattered - people who can handle daily devotional readings without a ton of structure. (Sarah is a divinity student @ Duke, married to her best friend (Tom) and has written 6 devotional books...need I say more?)

It's a poem/prayer she wrote called "Make Me Be Still" based loosely on Psalm 131:

God, make me be still.

My mind is full of words and pictures
and ideas I imagine to be true.
My heart is full of desires
I wrongfully feel I'm entitled to.
My body is full of sleep
and cobwebs and dust.
My soul is empty.

Now I know that when
my rambling, fast-forward
high-powered mind
and my creative, unrealistic imagination
take over my life,
my relationship with You suffers.
And when my body is sleepy,
I'm not awake to Your presence.
When my soul is empty,
I have nothing to give to others.

So if my mind is taking over,
let my thoughts be full of you, Jesus.
And if my imagination is taking over,
let it be baptized and sanctified by you, Jesus.
And if my body is taking over,
may it be awakened and energized by you, Jesus.
And if my soul is empty,
pour in your Holy Spirit till I'm full to overflowing.
Be the conscious control
over every aspect of who I am,
for it is in You that I live
and move and have my very being.

Amen.

Dude!

I'm actually on YouTube! It's not the best performance by any means, but for those who were there, it was definitely a GOD moment. Our worship leader put up a few clips from the IMPACT Youth Retreat weekend...hopefully we can get some feedback or something. :)

Click here to see our cover of "We Are Broken" by Paramore. We're still looking for a name!

Update

So I'm not as bored now, I guess. LOL. Here's a general update:

• I love to-do lists. It's a sad thing that has been mentioned already on this blog, but I don't care. It helps me sleep to write stuff out. Sorry, I know that's random, but it's sitting here next to me and I was thinking about it...
• This past weekend was awesome! The youth retreat went so well...it was impacting for all of us, not just the kids. I was sick most of the weekend (and still am for the most part), but God pulled through in helping all of us sing/play. We had so much fun with the worship team...*sigh*. I love it. We are searching for a name, so if you have any ideas, let me know!
• We're so pumped to be moving to a new building for church. It's going to be a big change, but I feel like this is the change we have been needing for a while now. It's the first time I've felt so positive about the possibility of moving being discussed. And now it's not just being discussed, it's actually happening! We can't wait for March!
• This weather needs to even itself out. If it wants to be cold, it needs to stay cold. If it wants to be warm, it needs to stay warm. This isn't hard, Birmingham.
• We want a dog. Paul is really wanting one, even if he tells you otherwise. We almost adopted a puppy from a friend of a friend, but we haven't followed up on it, and I think it's a bit early yet. Paul wants to get the privacy fence done before we get one, but I don't know if it will work - he's so busy with school and church that his weekends are booked up. Oh well...I'm sure he'll work it out. He even has other people asking him for his advice on fences and such - I love that people are seeing his talents and encouraging him in them. It makes me happy. Anyway, we were thinking about a border collie, which would be great, but after watching a Dog Whisperer episode on a super angry herding dog, I'm not so sure...
• I'm ready for friends to come visit - I can't wait for good friends of old to meet good friends of present. :)
• I'm pumped about new movies coming out: He's Just Not that Into You, Confessions of a Shopaholic, Push, Race to Witch Mountain, Fast & the Furious (yes, I'm a nerd, but it has the original cast), Night at the Museum 2, etc.
• I'm loving the new devotional I'm reading through - the title has something to do with coffee and God, and I'm too lazy to go find it. Anyway, it's a college student writing it, and it's a bit random at times, but that works for me. And it's helping me actually read something in the Bible every day. It makes me happy.
• I totally forgot to post about tattoo #5 in my last couple posts! It's 'Freedom' in Greek from Galatians 5:1 on my left wrist. I'm happy to have both wrists done now...I have to get my other ankle done - the lack of symmetry is killing me.
• I'm also a bit obsessed with TV right now. We're into a few different shows...I have to watch myself or I'll start spending too much time with it. I think we might start getting into Heroes...IDK. We watch Chuck/possibly Heroes on Mondays, AI/Scrubs on Tuesday, and AI/Lie to Me on Wednesday. We don't really do anything on Thursday/Friday, but who knows...it could start.
• I'm sad - we were planning on going to Boston over July 4th, but I don't think it's going to pan out. It's really expensive, and it's coming up too quickly to fully plan it. I'm not sure what we'll do, but I already have the vacation time scheduled - maybe we'll start training a dog that week!
• I think my parents and my grandparents (mom's side) are coming down in April. It's exciting and sad at the same time - it'll be the first and most likely the last time my grandparents will be down here. My grandma's situation is a long story right now, but let's just say it's going downhill. I hate bittersweet emotions.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Props to me for blogging a bit more regularly! :)

Do you ever just get bored?

That's how I feel today...bored. Really bored. I'm not complaining - I'd rather be bored having a job than not having a job. But really...I just wonder when this part of my life will be over. And it probably won't be for a while. *sigh*

Maybe all of this deep contemplation is due to me watching My So-Called Life...the complete series. Ha. Too bad my Jordan Catalano is painting cars right now... ;)

Oh, and I heart Activia yogurt. Seriously. It's probably not the best thing to be eating with my sinuses being all jacked up and my throat all irritated, but whatever. Sorry for the randomness. Maybe I'll blog about something real later...

Whoa...it's been a while

I didn't realize that it's been almost two months since I've posted anything, and the last thing to be posted was a survey. I'm a loser. Anyway, the past two months have been busy ones - here's a brief update:

• Spent Thanksgiving with Paul's family - super fun, let me tell you.
• Watched Alabama kill Auburn. :)
• Watched Alabama get killed by Florida. :(
• Spent Christmas (well, part of the week prior to) on a Disney Cruise with my dad's whole family. It was so much fun...seriously. I would recommend it to anyone who has kids (and even those who don't).
• Spent Christmas weekend with my family in Chicago - snow, family, good food, good times.
• Paul started back to school, including doing an internship with church - don't worry, he's basically been doing all of it already, so it's not much different than normal life @ SHC for us. Which is a good thing.
• I logged onto MySpace for the first time since October or November and cleaned it out. That was crazy.
• Had an amazing time at Worship @ Workplay.
• Spent this past weekend back in Chicago for an extended family Christmas party - this was with the family of the cousin who passed away in November. Sad, but still very good.

*Sigh* OK. Now that the update is officially done, here's what on my heart currently:

Marriage/Family: We are surrounding by marriages that are falling apart, even before they even had a chance to get off the ground. We're also surrounded by marriages that are falling apart after almost 30 years. It's truly unbelievable to me, but at the same time, I have to remember that life isn't going to get better or easier as we get closer to Jesus coming back. I know that sounds super spiritual, and trust me, I'm not one to talk about end times (that's a whole other blog...), but more and more, I am reminded that the things of God will be attacked the hardest before He comes back. I can't deny that it's started. Our hearts are broken by these broken marriages, homes, families, hearts...I almost can't put it into words. I have, however, taken all of this as a sign for me to be praying the blood of Jesus over my marriage, and those around us that are holding strong. I can't imagine my life without Paul, and God knows I'm not going to lose him without a super hard fight, no matter what may come. When God orchestrates something like marriage, I believe it's harder for the enemy to fight it. God knew what He was doing when HE created marriage, and I'm not going to stop believing that now, even in the face of the Church looking as bad as (or worse than) the world.

Church: People leaving, drama, miscommunication, lack of communication, heartache, people being stretched almost too thinly (in more ways than one)...GAH. I don't know what's going to happen, but I know that God has a plan, and I'm going to try my darndest to keep faith even when other people won't. Paul and I fell in love with SHC over 2 years ago, and that love has not and will not die. Does that mean we're going to be at SHC forever? Probably not. But knowing that we are where we're supposed to be is HUGE. Being in a small church is hard, but as far as I'm concerned, we've been more rewarded by it than anything, and although the future is unclear, we are unashamed and moving forward. It's time to stop making excuses and start making progress, no matter how long it takes or how hard it is, and with God as my witness and prayer as my weapon...

New life: On a more positive note, we're so encouraged by new life, whether it's literal (as in a new baby or finding out someone is preggo), or it's spiritual (people fighting to let go of their past and to move forward with Jesus, or being saved - really saved - and giving up their lives to God). As you all know, I am a self-proclaimed control freak - I consider it my thorn. But I can't tell you how it encourages me to see other people giving up control about crap in their lives - surrender is attractive, and it's attracting me in the oddest ways. I feel like I am being pulled up out of the hole that has been my life for the past couple years, and re-embracing my life in Christ. It's a slow, hard thing, but so good. So, SOOOOO good. We're seeing it in people at church, friends near and far, the worship team (I'm smiling just thinking about that), in our marriage, our families, etc. God is so good, and He gets all the glory. Watch out...I'm about to get pentecostal in here! lol... In the midst of all the darkness, God is the light - I read about that on Sam's blog today, and it made me smile a huge smile! (Thanks for posting that, Sam!)

Coming events:

• FREE massage next week - not by Lindsey, but hopefully equally as good! Thank God for gift certificates!
• Winter Youth Retreat (1.30 - 2.1) - our worship team is leading worship for the kiddies at the retreat, and we are so pumped about it! :)
• Friends from Ohio coming for a visit (2.20 - 2.22) - woo-hoo!
• My birthday (2.24) - the big #26 lol...but I think we're going to Atlanta to see Ben Folds! YAY!