CSR Week...thus far

So this week, we're celebrating CSR week at work. It's a lot like Spirit week in high school, if you've experienced that. Well, yesterday was Hillbilly day, and today we had to dress up as a group of characters from a TV show or movie with our teammates. We chose Wizard of Oz. Enjoy!

Joel Osteen sucks

Ok, so the title doesn't have anything really to do with the post, but Paul is watching the now infamous clip from Mark Driscoll's church, and it got me thinking about it. Blah. And he has a mullet. Geez...I'm glad my community of believers agree that our Christianity isn't easy and won't be. Ever. Thank God for that.

Anyway, life is still pretty busy. Work is slowly (read: like molasses) getting better. There are plans in the works right now to completely update our work area, and I have the possibility of receiving two more raises before the end of the year. I have to remember that this is where God wants me right now, even when I think it sucks, and I need to be thankful that I have a job that pays our bills. It's not all about me, dang it. Help me, Lord...

God has really been dealing with my heart lately. On one hand, it sucks really bad because it hurts - it's like surgery. On the other hand, though, I'm finally feeling like a Christian again - I feel like loving Jesus again. I struggle A LOT with being dependant on my feelings - I have to have something tangible in order to know it or believe it. And God showed me that because this is my mentality so often, I single-handedly deem my faith null and void. Faith isn't something tangible...that's hard, but it's truth. As much as I want to totally depend on Paul as my provider, my help, my confidant...that's not faith. As much as I think I want to control my life, my job, my family, my decisions, my hopes, my dreams...that's NOT faith. I am like the sick man who didn't ask, but told Jesus to help his unbelief. But like we talked about at small group last night, I'm also like the woman with the issue of blood - I've been called out, set free, and am in the process of being healed. It will not be finished while we're here on earth...

My mind keeps screaming, "Why is giving up control so damn hard?!" But I found a pinch of comfort in one set of verses we read last night within our lesson for small group - 1 Peter 5. It talks about humbling ourselves under God's mighty hand, and in due time, He will lift us up. We can cast our cares on him because he cares for us. I've heard this verse a billion times, but I never thought about why one verse was purposely written after the other. It may just be God revealing it to me, but I find it pretty amazing that directly after God tells us to humble ourselves, he tells us to cast all of it on Him. I believe God knows that being humble is ridiculously hard for us humans, so he wanted to make sure we knew it was totally okay to cast it all on Him - actually, that's the only way we can be humble - dependance on Him.

Anyway, that's the stuff in my head right now. Peace and love, homies...

A sick day includes...

...but is not limited to:

• Taking Benedryl around 6:45 this morning, and not waking up until Paul came home for lunch (around 11:10ish)...then feeling as if I could go back to sleep at any time. I haven't slept that much in I don't know how long. This is after going to bed last night around 9:30...hmm...14 hours? Wow.
• My throat feeling as if an animal of some sort has scratched it's way through it, but didn't actually kill me.
• Being on the computer A LOT.
• Watching randomly okay movies like "How to Deal" starring a cute and tart Mandy Moore and "Overnight Delivery" starring a very young Reese Witherspoon as a stripper. They have come a long way for License to Wed and Sweet Home Alabama, I'd say.
• Seeing enough of the celebrity drama on the E channel to last me a lifetime.
• Not spending money on food!
• Ugly, UGLY migraines.
• Ordering the next season of Scrubs DVD's from Amazon...season 5, here we come! (Which means seasons 3 and 4 will be borrowed by Luke and Shana soon...hehehe...)
• Having a house that's hotter inside than it is outside because we don't have windows that open. At all.
• Having time to do things around the house, but not caring enough to actually do them.
• Remembering that I have to go back to work tomorrow. I hate my life.

My husband...

...has finally broken down and created a blog of his very own. You need to leave him comments to encourage him to write stuff down and quit being lazy.

Thanks!

The list precedes the point...

• Preaching last Sunday was hard for me, but challenging in a good way. I think I got my point across, and as so many people reminded me, it's not up to me for that to happen anyway. Thanks for all the encouragement...I'm sure Luke will make me do it again.
• Life has been hectic but good lately. Work is still work, though.
• Praying for big things makes me forget about the small things and to be thankful for them. Dang it.
• I love being there for my husband, especially when he acknowledges it.
• Speaking of my husband, he's preaching this upcoming Sunday. If you can't be there, please pray for him. It's gonna be good.
• We're going to The Club tomorrow night for the Version 3 Celebration Dinner. Will V3 be celebrated? Hmm...probably not. Will free (really good) food and free alcohol be celebrated? Oh so much more.
• I think my laptop is kinda sick...it needs to take a trip to the doctor (aka Best Buy).

I am ridiculously in love with our church and more importantly, the people in it. To those who read this and are included in this group - you had me at hello. You are the passion of my heart and it (my heart) aches when it's not with you. Don't think I'm a weirdo, I'm just in love. I can't help it. I would write you a note asking if you like me too, and to circle yes or no, but this is a blog, and that wouldn't really be feasible. But just know...I'm seriously serious.

This is something I've been thinking about, and with the upcoming holiday, it's appropriate: Walking with God is like Halloween candy. Sometimes, you get the apples - the things in life that suck in comparison to the other stuff out there. Sometimes, you get caramels - the things that are good, but stick to you for far too long, so they eventually become bad. And sometimes, more rarely, you get your favorite (insert favorite candy here - I'm choosing Kit Kat for now) - you love it, you want more of it, you just may burst at the goodness of it.

That's like the parts of Jesus that are revealed to us - they're so good, we just might burst. But those parts are only good because of the other crap we have to wade through. Someone asked me the other day the infamous question of why bad things happen to good people. My answer was basically that faith is hard, and we live in a place that fell away from what God originally wanted. We chose our own way, we thought we could do it better, we allowed the enemy a place in our lives. Anyone who says that the way of faith is problem-free and smooth sailing is full of it. They haven't experienced true depth in God - a depth to which we can only go if it be through struggles. Does this suck? Yes. Is it necessary for growth? Most assuredly. Has God given us the strength to move in, through and past struggles? More than we can know. This is why community is such a strong passion/calling of ours (mine and Paul's). It's one of the few tangible things God has given us to help us work and walk through life. We need to utilize it...be real with it, be open to it, be honest in it, be forgiving of it, be thankful for it, be gracious about it, be what God has called us - THE CHURCH.

Ok, the tangent is over...just remember...LOVE.