Sex God, Chapter Two

This chapter was much more simple for me and my finite mind to understand. Rob breaks things down into very simplistic terms, and although I know he's been criticized for it, I believe that is why there are so many people at his church and who follow his teaching. And while I thoroughly believe in deep spirituality, I don't believe that's how everyone should start out. I'm glad for his approach...

The title for this chapter is "Sexy on the Inside," which automatically drew me in. Being someone who struggles with how I look on the outside, a chapter directed at my insides being sexy rather than my outsides was highly intriguing. He starts the chapter with the ways we're disconnected - from each other, from the earth, from ourselves, and then directly from God - and how this affects us in multiple ways. He tells a story about going to a Rolling Stones concert, and randomly talking to the [non-Christian] couple next to him about all things spiritual, with the female asking him (about humanity in general), "Why is it so hard for us to get along? Why do we have to fight with each other and go to war and hurt each other and sue each other and say horrible things about each other?" This made me think about a saying Pastor Gary used all the time - some people are better by nature than they are by grace, and this non-Christian person spoke the pain of all of humanity in a few words.

When talking about being disconnected from the earth, I have to admit, I was a tad stand-offish. I'm all for the tree-huggers and hippies of the world, but I'm not so much of that mentality. But I think he makes a few interesting, if not good, points about altering our air with electric machines, how car companies make us think that their product is the only way we can really experience nature, and a whole tangent about our trash and where it goes. And then there's a small snipit about our disconnection from ourselves - how we can so easily be distracted from the vision/passion of our own hearts, that we don't even realize what has happened until it's almost too late.

And then he brings in the biblical application - God's interaction with Adam and Even in the garden, about the initial disconnect of humanity from God, the earth, and between each other. Good stuff. He says, "And this is where you and I come in. We were born into a world, into a condition, of disconnection. Things were created to be a certain way, and they're not that way, and we feel it in every fiber of our being." This has been so pertinent in my life lately. This general feeling of...blah...

He then connects it to the sexual - he says that scholars believe that our word "sex" comes from the Latin word secare, which means "to sever, to amputate, or to disconnect from the whole." So therefore, our sexuality has two dimensions. "First, our sexuality is our awareness of how profoundly we're severed and cut off and disconnected. Second, our sexuality is all of the ways we go about trying to reconnect." Wow. That puts an entirely new spin on sex for me, and thinking about my past, it all clicks. We need to re-think our definition of sex, and then of sexual dysfunction.

He goes through an entire portion about the Red Light District in Amsterdam, about how unsexual the place is. With our new definition, there is no true sexual connection there - it's all strictly physical. He then relates this to our communities, and how truly detrimental it is to have a strictly "physical" connection with the people God has placed in our lives. We need to move to having a "sexual" connection with our church families. I know, I know...weirdness. But if you can push past the only definition in your mind, it makes sense. People blame the institution of the church for their hurts, pains, etc., but really...the institution is made up of people all striving to regain the connections they've lost.

"Somebody in this group hurt somebody in that group. Somebody at school or in that office wronged somebody else. And they haven't done the work to apologize and make amends and work through it. When I meet someone who has been burned by an institution, my first question is, 'What was the person's name?' We'll never heal unless we can identify who did what when. Only then can we begin the process of being set free."

I know I've quoted a lot, but I couldn't have put this better myself. He ends the chapter with a story about a friend of his who is celibate (he mentions celibacy a couple times throughout the chapter) and how her vow is not to go without love, but more a vow she calls "universal love" (yes, I know what you're thinking...). But her main objective is to be "sexually" connected to as many people as she can, without being shallow or superficial. I know this terminology isn't something that will catch on in the American church of today, but regardless, it should really challenge our thinking about community, and what it truly means to be connected.

And then, this paragraph:

"You can't be connected with God until you're at peace with who you are. If you're still upset that God gave you this body or this life or this family or these circumstances, you will never be able to connect with God in a healthy, thriving, sustainable sort of way. You'll be at odds with your maker. And if you can't come to terms with who you are and the life you've been given, you'll never be able to accept others and how they were made and the lives they've been given. And until you're at peace with God and those around you, you will continue to struggle with your role on the planet, your part to play in the ongoing creation of the universe. You will continue to struggle and resist and fail to connect."

And thus, be kicked in the ass, as I am.